Little White Lies

20.

*Sophie's P.O.V*

I was a pile of trash on the floor, body tightly fitted into a ball and tears were silently making streaks of water down my face, making them crash onto my chest. My mascara was most definitely smudged all over my face, resembling me as a racoon and I didn't feel any better than I look. My head was sore from tugging on the roots trying to let my anger and frustration out but it only made it worse. I swear blood is trickling to the surface in some places from my harsh pulls. I have been sitting in just my blanket up against the door and I haven't moved from my spot. He is so bi-polar; one minute he's the only person in the world I want to see and the next I don't want to be near him. When he called me that name, I couldn't take it and I wanted him out of my sight. No matter how angry you are, you shouldn't call them a bitch. It hurt my brain to think about it. But that wasn't the problem right now. The problem was the name he, and only he, actually called me. BabyDoll.

That's what he called me.

I haven't heard that name since I was sixteen, two years ago. I had nightmares every day for years after he happened and he traumatized me. Mentally and physically. Just imagining his face frightened me, shivers raking up and throughout my body. I tried to shake my head of the thoughts but I couldn't help but imagine it.

*Flashback*

His hands raked over my naked body, tears flowing out of my eyes. I was petrified.

"Please stop, please you don't have to do this." I begged, breaths coming out ragged.

"It's alright, babydoll." He said, horrifying smile curving up. it wasn't a genuine smile, it was a wicked one. His eyes were drenched with lust and that's it. He told me he has no intention of hurting me but I know he will. His breath smelt strongly of alcohol and cigarettes making me gag.

I had stopped fighting him after he handcuffed my ankles and wrists to the stiff head board and legs of the bed. I still tried to wiggle out of his hold but that would only make him grip my body tighter, making sure to leave bruises.

He was making a trail of kisses with his disgusting lips from my chest down to my lower region.

"Please stop." I whimpered, using the last bit of strength I had in me to fight him off.

"No." He said sternly, inserting a finger. The tears just grew harder after he had stopped and starting unbuckling his belt.

"Please don't do this again." I pleaded with my life.

"Baby doll, just relax and maybe you'll enjoy it too." He said, giving me that disgusting smile and winking at me, making my stomach churn.

I knew if I tried to fight him off he would hurt me again. My cheek still was stinging from him slapping me across the face and there was going to be bruises there as well. I was snapped from my thoughts when I felt something touch me. I squeezed my eyes closed and he rocked his hips into mine, making me sob even harder if possible.

*End of flashback.*

I burst into hysterics at the memory that kept replaying in my mind and I felt so alone. Zoey was never here and I needed Harry to stay away from me. I barely know Jasper and those girls I ate lunch with so I have no one. I know I wouldn't tell anyone anyways but it would be nice to know that I could tell someone if I needed to. I've been to counselors but it only made it worse. He didn't only do that to me once, but thirty two times. He did it to me for three years. He was a drunk and was messed up in the brain so he abused me. Physically and mentally but rape was the absolute worse thing he had done to me. To make the whole situation even confusing than it already was, and to make matter worse, my own father hit and raped me. I had told Harry that he was gone and was dead but he wasn't he was still out there. Lurking in the streets and I had no clue as to where he was.