Soulless (Justin Bieber Love Story / Fan Fiction)

XVIII

XVIII.
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Song of the chapter:
505 by Arctic Monkeys
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If someone was to ask me what I had planned for that day, I don't think anyone could ever guess any of it. Dressing like Britney Spears, going to Justin Bieber's apartment, getting high, and doing some pretty sexual things? All in one day for Kennedy Nolan? Unbelievable.

But it all happened, and I wasn't dreaming.

I lay flat on my stomach with my feet kicked up behind me while Justin lay on his back beside me on the bed. We ordered a pizza considering we had still been a little bit high from before, which sat on the floor beside me after we ate what we wanted.

"So let's go," he pushed himself on his side so that he was facing me after we both finished eating. He licked his lips. "This list is intriguing."

I rolled my eyes and rested my chin on my arms that were crossed in front of me. "It's nothing, really. Just your typical stuff."

"Nothing about you is typical, Kennedy. Don't try to fool me."

"Well," I gulped, nerves flooding my mind. "I mean there's two lists, actually," I confessed. "One for, you know, simple stuff and the other is for more brave and courageous stuff."

I looked up at him hesitantly, seeing his blank stare right away. Suddenly, he cracked a smile and started giggling. "You're such a nerd, you know that? You literally organized your bucket list into two separate lists."

"Well, if you're just going to make fun of me then I'm not going to tell you," I stated matter of factly.

"No!" he urged, nudging my shoulder with his hand. "Please tell!"

I sighed. "Fine. So I'll do the simple one first. There's four things: graduate college with at least a 3.0 GPA, have sex, get a dog, and get drunk."

He nodded. "Sounds pretty good and easy. Have you crossed anything off of that one, yet?"

"Yeah, tonight I did. I smoked pot. So thank you."

"I'm happy to be of service," he grinned. "Let's get into the other one. I have to know."

My stomach fluttered. "It's kind of specific and not really something that has to be done, but I don't know. Do you really want to--"

"Yes! Stop stalling!"

"Alright," I groaned. "Well, to start, doing what we did tonight was on my list. So again, I thank you."

He bowed his head as if I had given him one of the greatest honors he had ever received.

"Okay, number one: I've always wanted to go on a really amazing vacation somewhere tropical with the love of my life, whoever that may be. I just think about how wonderful and satisfying that would be."

"Do you believe in that?" he asked, tracing his finger over the small piece of mattress between us. "Soul mates and stuff, I mean."

I looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah, of course. I don't think everybody finds the person they're intended to be with but I've always believed that there's someone out there for everybody," I explained. "Do you?"

He shrugged. "Maybe, but I don't expect myself to ever find mine. I don't really think there is anyone out there who totally gets me. So in other words, I believe in them, just not for me."

That's no way to go about life, I thought. He doesn't think he has a shot at being with someone he truly loves? That's really tragic to know.