Soulless (Justin Bieber Love Story / Fan Fiction)

XXXVI

XXXVI.
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Song of the chapter:
Cliff's Edge by Hayley Kiyoko
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What makes him so terrible? It surely can't be that obvious considering I haven't had the slightest clue as to what it is. What does he do to these girls? Why do they all hate him so much?

After much internal conflict as to whether I should have gotten up or not, I finally dragged my tired body to the shower around eight o'clock that night. When I got there, I simply stood still and let the hot water fall down my body as I stared blankly at the white tile on the wall. My thoughts moved so quickly until it seemed they were tangled in one big mass of confusion.

I reached up and grabbed the orange Herbal Essences shampoo on the shelf and began lathering it through my hair.

Does he hurt them? I wondered. No, he wouldn't. Does he humiliate them? Maybe . . . Does he threaten them? No! That's not like Justin. Does he--

"Kennedy?" my mom's voice called from the other side of the bathroom door, followed by three knocking sounds.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to rid myself of my manic thoughts before responding. "Yeah?"

"How are you feeling?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned about my well being.

Do I feel guilty or what?

"Not good," I lied. I felt okay, definitely not my top self, but I was alright. I felt okay enough to sneak out and go to Justin's and then lie about it, after all. "Is it okay if I stay home tomorrow?"

"Jesus, that bad?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Yeah, I think I'm just overtired. You know, maybe I overworked myself or something."

I could almost see her smiling in response. She knew I pretty much ate, slept, breathed, and studied for school. "That'll happen. Rest up, okay?"

"Thanks mom."

It was quiet again. I was left with the sound of hundreds of water droplets on the shower floor and the little voice in the back of my head telling me how terrible I was for lying to my mom. Of course I had lied to her before about stupid little things, like whether or not I ate my vegetables at dinner or something like that. Lying about being sick and about what I planned to do the next day was not as simple as my vegetable intake.

However, I knew she was going to bed, which meant that it was just about time to leave my room and go to Justin's apartment.

Eventually I turned off the shower head and stepped out, drying myself completely before brushing and blow drying my hair.

I wasn't sure what Justin had in store for the evening, though I hoped he didn't plan on going to some party or something. Even though I wasn't completely sick, I still wasn't up for that at the moment, as appealing as it may have sounded. Anything else would have sufficed.

As the minutes passed, I coated my top lashes with a little mascara and pulled some comfortable clothes over my body that consisted of leggings and a gray crew neck sweatshirt. Impressing Justin with my appearance didn't cross my mind; he was lucky I was even sneaking out on a school night to begin with. I was sure he knew just how unlike me that was.