I'm Just the Way the Doctor Made Me 'Completed'

Chspter 5

Authors note
So this has some descriptive cutting so this might be triggering so if you're a cutter please remember 'Nothing is worth hurting yourself over. Do you understand me?' -Gerard Way 'No kid should ever feel like they deserve the cuts on their wrists' Gerard Way. 'Life gives you enough scars, you don't need to manufacture your own.' -Andy Sixx
Stay beautiful keep it ugly.

Gerard's POV

It was after breakfast, now it was time for therapy session five with Oli Sykes. Oli was tall and had tons of tattoos, he was from England and had a thick British accent that was somewhat hard to understand at times. But he was a good therapist as far as I could tell, he didn't press into the whole, 'why don't you talk' thing. He's left that alone so far.

I walked into the hallway and waved to Frankie but he didn't see me. I shrugged to myself and walked into Oli's office.

"Hello Gerard how are you?" Oli smiled at me when I entered the room. I sat down and took out my notepad and pencil, 'I'm not okay and it's not alright. I feel like absolute shit, eleven out of ten depression, like usual. It's been the same answer for my three months in this hell.' I gave him the paper and he rolled his eyes, I liked that about Oli, he wasn't super strict he was relaxed.

"You know as well as I do it's part of my policy to ask these questions once a week." I knew that, I hated that policy. "Alright, we're gonna try something new today, how does that make you feel?" I shrugged "Okay, could you tell me what you see?" He held up a white canvas with a black splotch on it. I shivered and froze.

'I-it's Them. They're here in this room.' I looked about, 'Oh god they've found me.. how? I never speak.'

Oli must've noticed my behavior and quickly put the cards away and leaned across his desk towards me. "Gerard, what's happening? Who are They? Are They talking to you?" I pulled my knees up to my stomach and put my head down. The voices screaming at me,

-You're better off dead you know. You're worthless and no one loves you it's all just pity. Do everyone a favor and kill your useless, pathetic self.

'No! Don't say I'm better off dead! Stop, please make it all stop!' I was shaking, I gripped my hair tight. Why were They here? Why couldn't They leave me alone for just one day?

-No one really cares about you. Oli? Ha. He's just another therapist and you're just another patient. You're nothing special so stop pretending.

"Gerard, I need you to listen to me. They aren't really there.. those Things aren't real." The voices were screaming and They were everywhere. Shadows, always there just out of sight. Haunting me, quietly inside. Sometimes I would catch a glimpse of the dark figures.

Something reached out and touched me and I knew it must be Them. I thrashed around out of Its grip and ran out of the office and down the hall, trying to hide the tears. I ran to the only safe place where the nurses and doctors couldn't find me, the supply closet near the 'mental room'.

I ran in and slammed the door and slid down it, full on crying now, the tears slid down my face and my breathing was shaky and loud.
'Calm down, breath. We can make it through this..' I glanced at a small box near me, 'Once more, that's all."

I knew this was wrong, but I honestly didn't give a fuck. 'No one would know. Just keep wearing long sleeves or those bracelets from Mikey.' I opened the small box and pulled out the silver blade. I felt that familiar feeling, that excitement, that urge.

The voices were silent, they wanted me to do it. I could still feel Them, They were near me, in the dark. Urging me to slide the cool blade across me wrist. To see the blood come up as small beads. I put it to my skin, pressed down, and slid it across the lower part of my wrist. I loved the sick pleasure of pain.

I knew I must've been in here for at least two hours, it was about lunch time. I heard people shuffling to the cafeteria again. I was hungry but I was a bloody mess and I needed to clean up before even thinking about getting food. I had eyeliner running down my face and blood all over my left arm.

I waited until I couldn't hear anyone walking by the door before opening it a bit. I stuck my head out, no one was there. I rolled down my left sleeve and wiped my face as much as I could with my other sleeve; I slipped out the door before closing it quietly. I didn't want anyone to find me, bloody sleeve, tear and eyeliner stained face, anyone with half a brain would know what I'd been doing.

I was almost to the bathroom when I heard Oli's voice, "Gerard? There you are I've been looking for...you..." his voice slowly got quieter,

'Fuck.'

Oli looked at my sleeve and I knew he knew. He was smart and like I said, anyone with half a brain could connect the dots. He groaned, "Shit, Gerard, you were.. you were doing so much better with cutting. Where did you get your razor or whatever you used?" He ran his fingers through his hair like he did when he was stressed.

-You know what's gonna happen now? You're going to go to the mental room. You'll be all alone. You'll leave Frankie alone... with Us.

'Not Frankie. He's mine! You stay away from him it's not his time!'

"Gerard, we have to clean you up, come on, the bathroom is right here."

I followed Oli to the bathroom and he got out a first aid kit and got to work on my arm. I took out my notepad and pencil with my right arm. 'Oli, please I swear this will never happen again. Please I don't want to go to the mental room!'

Oli sighed, I knew he was going to tell, he literally had to if he wanted to keep his job. "I'm sorry, I have to." I nodded and just sat on the counter in silence as he cleaned my cuts and wiped off the blood. After a few moments of silence, Oli asked what I'd been expecting he'd ask,

"Where did you get the razor?" I only shrugged in response, he gripped my shoulders, "I'm serious Gerard, I need to know so this won't happen again... to any patient."

Authors note
It's 5am, I am tired as fuck and it's New Year's Eve day so I'll be staying up late again. Anyway hope you liked this I dunno if this is any good though