I'm Just the Way the Doctor Made Me 'Completed'

Chapter 11

Frank's POV

"Hey Gerard, we need to get ready for breakfast." He didn't move. "Gee, we need to shower and dress." Again, he didn't move or grunt, I panicked.

I took his wrist and felt for a pulse, it was almost nonexistent, "NurSE HEY I NEED A NURSE GERARD NEEDS HELP!"

Three nurse barged in, I recognized Alex but I didn't know the other two. One of the nurse shoved me aside gently and grabbed Gerard's wrist, "He's right, his pulse is dangerously low." She said, "Call the surgeons." Alex looked at me, "What happened?" He asked,
"N-nothing, a nurse told me it was time to get ready so I told Gerard but he didn't move."

Alex ran his fingers through his hair, "Check his arms." I got to him first and rolled up his left sleeve, i gasped it was covered in deep cuts. I rolled up the right arm and it also was covered.

"There are more cute then last night." Said a voice, I turned around to see Oli right behind me looking down at Gerard.

"These are really deep, how did he get a razor or knife?" Alex ran both his hands up his face and into his hair, "Fuck, what if he doesn't make it?"

I was sure my heart stopped beating right then. "He... h-he might not make it?" I stuttered in complete shock. "You're turning pale, lay down you might faint." I did as told and felt a bit better but still scared to death.

"Frank, did you know that Gerard did this?" I shook my head, "No, we were sleeping in the same bed because I had a nightmare, I don't know how he could've left or anything to try to cut." Alex looked at me in pity, "I'm afraid this was not just cutting, I think this was suicide." Oli cleared his throat, "You say this is suicide? I say this is a war." I nodded,  I knew it was. Suicidal thoughts are like the enemy, they try to fight to take control of your mind to end it all. And sometimes you feel like they're right.

"Suicide is a war. When you get to the pint of being suicidal, just a little thing can send you over the edge. You can be strong, you can fight it every second, but it's so hard to. The hardest part of living is taking breaths to stay. When you start to cut, that urge never goes away. It never ends, every second, every minute, every hour, ever day."

Oli described suicide so accurately I wondered if he had ever been suicidal.

"Alright Oli, that was very educational and all, but right now a patient is dying." Alex said Oli nodded, "Of course, sorry."

That struck me hard, 'But right now a patient is dying.' Dying. Gerard is dying.

It was one of those moments when you felt the tears start to build up; your throat slightly closed up as a lump rose in it and tears swelled in your eyes and you had a blurry vision.

"Is- is he going to make it?" My voice cracked and a few hit tears slipped out, I knew it was all about to spill.

"I don't know, I'm no doctor but it seems like if we hurry up he might..." just then two surgeons showed up, behind them was two people holding a stretcher. "What happened said the shorter one, "We don't know but his arms are covered in deep cuts, I don't know how." Offered Alex. "Get him on the stretcher, he's lost a lot, and I mean a shit ton, of blood." Said the second one, "Pete, you need to go and get a room ready, room 3 will work." The second nurse nodded, "Okay Patrick." He hurried off as the other nurses lifted up Gerard and put him on the stretcher.

I know I barely knew him, but he was my best friend. He had let me sit with him and told me I was beautiful. So why would he abandon me? Didn't he know how much he meant to me? Didn't he know that... that I loved him? I didn't know shit about him but, it was love at first sight really.

I didnt care why he was here, I didn't care if he had voices that told him things, I didn't care that he saw Things... I just cared that he was alive and well.

A/n Lots of blood so yeah, just talking about blood just so ya know

I was left alone in our room, I went to my bed and noticed it was covered in blood, gallons of the stuff. I looked down and saw I was too.

I wasn't bothered by blood, but I felt sick knowing this was Gerard's blood. I decided to shower and get these clothes to a washer.

After a long shower I dressed and stripped the bed, leaving the pillow case that wasn't covered in blood that smelled of him.

A/n okay no more blood >_<

A nurse came in and told me I could still eat but I was to queasy, but I knew my body needed something even though my eating disorder voice was telling me I was too fat, I decided to have something.

I put the bloody clothes and bedding outside my door and went to the cafeteria. The only thing that I liked was yogurt, I grabbed two small containers I glanced at the calories and they were both 120 so it would be 240. I tried to not think of that as I stirred in the fruit at the bottom.

Alex called out that it was time for therapy as I finished the second container. I went to the door but turned around and went to Alex, "Will he be okay? I'm son worries." Alex sighed, "In really don't know, they're figured out along with the cuts on his arms, there as some on his thighs and chest." I wanted to cry, but I just nodded and left to see Jaime; I had a lot of shit to say.