I'm Just the Way the Doctor Made Me 'Completed'

Chapter 7

Gerard's POV

Oli looked completely serious along Out distressed. He washed his hands and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Gerard, you need to tell me where you got that razor. You'll have a less likely chance of going to the special room if you don't."
'I really dodn't remember where I got it.' I wrote. Well, I did but I don't want him to know. I had hidden it under my tongue when I first got here and kept it in the closet. I hadn't used it in two months.

"Ok... when did you get it?" I decided to tell the truth, to be honest I thought it was rather clever of me and I knew they would be surprised and angry. Like I cared.

"Since you got here! That's been two fucking years, how did you hide it that long?" I shrugged as he crumpled the paper in his first. "This is bad, we could lose you as a patient if the inspectors find this out. You don't want that." He said after I shrugged once more,  I really didn't care. "No, you don't understand. If you get transferred you won't have as much freedom as you have here."

What freedom? I have none. He seemed to know what I was thinking. "You get to storm out of my office, get different therapists, listen to music when you get really bad, and go to your room when you want... mostly. If you get transferred you won't have any of those privileges."

Now that made me care, I liked being in my room when I needed. When the voices and hallucinations got too bad I was allowed to listen to music; mostly Blink 182 and the Misfits. My room with music was a wasteland, my only retreat.

"Now that I have your intention, where did you get the razor?" I sighed and wrote that I hid it under my tongue but also that I hadn't used it in two months. I don't know why, it just seemed like he'd feel any better. I'd had him for one month.

"Fuu...dge." I almost grinned, there was a no swearing policy. "Okay, okay. Listen, I need to get the head nurse, she'll figure what to do." Sudden panic washes over me.

-No! If she comes you will be locked up for god knows how long!

The voices screamed and I fled the bathroom while Oli cried out my name but I don't stop. I ran to the supply closet once again and slid down the door. I couldn't tune the voices out, how'd they get so goddamn loud?

I heard Oli run past the door, after a few minutes I heard about four people run past the door.

-They're coming for you. You are pathetic, cowardly hiding in here.

'Well what do you suggest?' I thought angrily, sometimes the voices just got on my nerves. They usually only threatened me with Them and told me to do things like cut.

-Kill yourself. Stop the pain, the pain you cause others by being around them.

'What? Are you crazy? Oh wait, yeah. But... what about Frankie?' I liked Frank, I had only met him today but he was perfect.

-You cause pain to every single person who gets close to you. So just end it all.

I shook my head. No, this wasn't what I needed to do. For the first time, I was going to do what I needed, even if I didn't want it, help. I got up and opened the door and went to find Oli. Better to find them then be caught.

-We will send Them after you right now.

Fuck, I ran before They could find me. I wanted the voices and Them to leave me alone.

I ran smack into someone's back as I turned a corner.

-What are you doing? No! Stop, we will get you! Tonight you'll have no escape in the special room!

I knew that, but I had to do this, right here right now. There was no turning back, I had already ripped the door open and ripped down the halls.

I raced through the hospital faster, I could feel Them getting closer and closer. With every step I took, the could sense my fear and hear my feet as I pounded down the corridors.

-Do us all a favor and stop running. You know They'll catch you. Didn't you just think 'Better to find them then to be caught'?

Of course they'd turn my own fucking thoughts against me. 'Yeah, but I'm not planning on being caught by either one.'

-Let's see who you catch first, or who catches you.

I heard something and panicked even more if possible. Adrenaline pumped through my veins I could hear blood pounding in my head along with the voices.

That just added more pain to my already aching head.

I turned a corner and ran into something hard, we both fell to the ground in a loud thump.