I'm Not Gay

I'm Gay. He's Gay. But Why's He So Special?

I'm Gay. He's Gay. But Why's He So Special? (Sam)

It was weird going to class without Dean.

I was so used to having him by my side, that whenever he's not there, everything felt different. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't care about what I was learning, cause the entire time I kept wondering about him. If he was okay or not, why he lied to go home early, why he went from being so nice to me this morning to leaving me. And it didn't help that I also had Gabe's question plaguing my mind too. I knew what the smart thing to do here was. That I should just move on, date Gabe and give the guy a chance, but every time I tried to Dean would do something that'd just pull me right back in.

And it was starting to annoy me.

Why couldn't I have fallen for someone I actually had a shot with? Someone who was gay and who actually liked me for me? Why'd I have to fall for someone so straight, that I literally have no chance with?

Why'd I have to fall for Dean Winchester?

I jumped when the final bell rang, letting out a sigh of frustration at myself before I shoved everything into my bag. I guess I couldn't really blame Dean, it wasn't the guys fault that I fell for him. He was just being Dean.

So I need to stop being Sam and start being Realistic Sam. I had no chance with Dean, it was that clear and simple, so instead of moping around and wishing for things that will never happen, I should give Gabe a chance and see where it takes us.

I nodded to myself, jerking on my backpack and rushing out the door. "Gabe, wait!" I called out when I saw him down the hall and he paused in his steps, eyes lighting up when they landed on mine.

"Heya, Sammy, what's-"

"Let's hang out at your place. Now," I cut off, seeing him blink in surprise at me.

"Uhm, wanna try that again?"

I blushed lightly. "I uh, can we hang out at your place?" I asked less demanding now and he smiled at me, ruffling my hair affectionately.

"Of course, Sam. Your wish is my command."

-

We had been watching a movie together when it happened.

Gabe and I had been laying in his bed, my back against his chest as we watched some black and white horror movie play on tv. I was actually starting to get comfortable with the idea of making this a regular thing. Gabe was nice and funny and he treated me right. What more could I ask for, right?

But life was always cruel to me.

"That isn't your parents is it?" I whispered when I heard the front door open and close and Gabe snorted, shaking his head as his fingers tapped against my arm.

"Naw. The parental units are never here. It's probably just Cas." He answered, head still leaning against mine and I relaxed.

Right. Cas. Of course. Sweet and nice Castiel. I started to zone out again when I heard a familiar laugh ring through the air.

"Oh come on! How have you never seen Spiderman?" Dean laughed, their footsteps getting louder as they walked up the stairs. My eyes snapped over to the open door, watching as the two of them came in view, Dean's arm wrapped around Cas' shoulders as the smaller boy looked up shyly at him.

"I don't really like movies," he admitted, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

Dean wrinkled his nose, making that cute face that always made my heart race. But now? It wasn't racing. It was pissed off that that face was directed at someone else. "Don't tell me you actually like to read," he teased and when Cas looked away, my eyes followed Dean's other hand that caught his jaw and turned his head back towards his. "Angel, you're such a nerd. Let me see what else you got hiding from me."

And just like that, they were gone, Castiel's bedroom door closing just as the walls around my heart closed too.

"What the hell was Cas doing with him?" Gabe cursed, trying to get up but I stopped him, placing my hand on his arm.

"Who cares? Tonight is about us, isn't it?" I asked him and he blinked, looking down at me with eyes so concerned and worried that I had to stare at his lips instead. I forced a smile. "And I've decided," I told him, ignoring the way my heart clenched and cried out at me, "yes. I will be your boyfriend."