IT'S CONFUSING!

so long

That voice.
That voice  alone could make my day better .
I had 0 courage left in me to look up and meet his intense eyes.
He told me that if Aiden hurt me , he will make his life a living hell.
He warned me in the most subtle way ever known to mankind.
And yet , here I was laying in an CCU with life changing scars in my legs and arms.
I felt him slowly make his way  near me.
All my friends moved to the side as he walked ever so gracefully next to my bed.

"Grow up Keiria! Don't be such a baby! If you do not stand up for your own self then who the hell would?"  I mentally scolded myself before taking a deep breath as I lifted up my chin, eyes tightly closed ,  like a sloth.

"Look at me Ria"

I felt a steely ice cold finger make contact with my already cold chin.  His words were commanding yet I could sense the hurt and panic which were  filled in those four words.

"Look at me. Please ."

My eyes shot open and mine was met with the warmest brown eyes looking at me with so much hurt yet deep within I could see the love and the concern that flashed though his orbs.A broken , stupid , naive girl who did all the things she swore she would never commit.

It felt like forever before he broke his mesmerizing gaze from me . I was pretty sure it was sneaky Sean who coughed like a million times in front of us which made him to stop .
 
With a pink stained cheek I turned my head to the side. After an awkward few minutes  and a thousand deep breaths I finally found the courage to look into his eyes  before I tried to speak again.

"I am sorry"

That was all I could manage. My brain seemed to go  have gone blank after I uttered those words.  His eyebrows shot up as a look of both surprise and hurt took over his sculpted face. 

"Why are you sorry Ria? .. it was his fault. I should have seen it coming. I should have protected you. If it was anyone who was sorry. It will be me. "

Vicktor chimed as his eyes turned a shade darker and his features became more cruel. It was a side I had never seen before. A side that made my heart slowly twist with pain. 

I slowly  took his hands which were resting on the bed in mine and looked into his Bay brown eyes. "You could have . But you would have never been able to save me from myself Vick."
I stated with a sad smile playing on my lips.
Vicktor said nothing yet his eyes were swarmed  with heap load of emotions that I could not decipher. Care. Concern . Worry. Warmth. Love?

I blinked and tried to look anywhere but Vick. 
His soft chuckles did not go unnoticed and it only seemed to have added more fuel to the heat rising up from my neck.

That night vicktor offered to stay with me . Since the CCU can only have one person to look after the patient.  Though it got me some cheeky glances from my mom and dad and a few snickers from my perverted friends . They still silently obliged and finally stated that it was for my best. 

That night exhaustion took over me and because of the heavy sedatives prescribed , thanks to the 'hot tamale' doctor I had a dream less sleep . The only thing that I remember  before my eyelids closed was vick's strong hands holding onto mine .

_______________________________________
 
It has been 4 weeks since I had been bestowed with my normal life again. Days seem to get better. Gloomy but better.Like the beautiful rainbow that you wish to see with a last few drops of rain , as the sun shines for the very first time after it had been kidnapped.  My life finally began to have a slow start towards a better tomorrow .

I still feel like shit. I still feel ashamed of what I had done . I guess that will never change but something in me has  indeed changed. I could sense it. People around me could sense it.