She Looks So Perfect

37

When I got home, I don't know what the hell I did but somehow I ended up in my bathtub with a bottle of my mum's bitter wine. Sighing, I take a swig of the fairly disgusting yet pleasing beverage.

"What are you doing..." I hear a female voice from the door way, I look over and see that Lauren is that voice. She's wearing her school uniform which means she just got home from school. I forgot they didn't have inservice but we did.

I quickly hide the bottle behind me and answer,"Um...bathing?" I say as more of a question rather than an answer. She groans in annoyance and leans in the doorframe.

"I know what you're doing, but why are you doing it?" Lauren rolls her eyes and makes a hand gesture when she said 'why'.

"Because... adult stuff, Lauren, adult stuff..." I sigh and take another swig.

"I'm old enough to know adult things, Ashton" she furrows her eyebrows.

"You're still too young" I say dramatically and turn to put the back of my hand on my forehead, she sighs. We sigh a lot.

"Is it from what your fans have been saying about-" she looks behind her and comes closer so she's sitting on the side on the tub,"Bianca, and you? With-" she whispers.

"I loved Amy, but I screwed it all up," I groan out of frustration. "I knew since grade 8 that I was a mess up..." I mumble.

"Shut up Ashton! You're the most well put together person I know of! You're mine and Harry's idol, we love you for who you are" she frowns and takes the bottle that I didn't realize was already empty.

I didn't know what to say because I couldn't think, so like normal I don't say anything.

"Now get up and lie down in bed, you need the sleep"

"Alright, I guess you're right" I get up from out of the bathtub and nearly stumble but get out. I really don't think now do I?

When I look in the mirror, I examine my face. My hair is a greasy mess, my face is still red, my eyes are still bloodshot from the crying and my face is stained with tears. I'm a mess. My fans would be so disappointed in me, knowing that I've cheated on my own beautiful, amazing girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend now.

I grimace at how I look and tear my eyes from myself and walk down the white hallway to my room. The only sound in the house being Lauren at the sink, and my footsteps on the wooden floor.

I'm not drunk, but I'm not sober either. I'm sort of in the middle, meaning I feel numb enough to not feel heartache but not enough to feel happy.

Opening the door to my room, I walk in and plop down on my twin bed. Covering myself with the light brown blankets on my bed. Sighing, I stare at the white ceiling. Thinking about absolutely nothing, in hopes to forget about all the events that's happened today.

Finding out I was now a teen parent, My girlfriend breaking up with me and realizing I'm a cheater.

"Ashton, drink water." My eyes move from the ceiling to Lauren who appeared on the side of my bed with a glass of water.

Blank-faced, I grab the glass from her considering if I didn't, she would find a way to make me.

"If you need to talk about anything, Ash, just let me know." She smiles warmly at me, before heading out of my room.

"Lauren?" I call out to her as she was just at the doorway of my room.

"Hm?" she looks over to me.

"I love you." I croak out, it's been a while since I've said that to a family member, me being consumed in my own social life, my fans and the band.