The Fear Of Falling Apart

-1-

Tanith's POV

"No tour this year." Dad announces.

"What?!" Dallon, Spencer an I exclaim at the same time. Kenny's  usual calm face has tuned to one of shock.

"But Dad-" I begin.
"No." He shakes his head. "This year is gonna be a year off. No tours, minimal writing and recording. A down year." He tells us. I look to the others in dismay, only to find them reflecting my emotions. I can't believe he took me out of school for this.

"Bren, why do we need a down year?" Spencer asks. "Panic's doing great, we've got a couple'a songs down already and plenty of time for a tour."

Brendon just shakes his head. "It's like a holiday, Spence. We'll be able to catchup whenever and hang out, just like we always do. But instead of working we can just be buddies." He smiles, trying to sell it. But honestly this whole thing is just...wrong. Brendon loves music and tour.

Spencer says something about that being alright, and I just stare at the wall of the studio.

Tours are fun. Writing and recording is fun. Performing is fun.
I love the music industry and I hate the looks of this year.

But Dallon drives me back to school anyway and I head to my music class, just as I always do on Thursday afternoons.
Miss
Matthews doesn't say anything about me being late, and I take my seat in the back with Rory and Fin. I'm lucky to have her again for my favourite class.
Speaking of, Fin actually chose music as an elective this year. He's dropped art, figuring that Gerard can help him if he needs it, and plays bass guitar with me and Rory now.
"Since last week we did all theory, who'se up for some performances?" My favourite teacher asks. Week two and we're already gonna play.
Hell yes.
"Since its week two I'll let you guys pick your groups. You know where the practice rooms are and you've got two hours." She grins. "3,2,1...go!"

I turn to my two friends with a grin, an before you know it we're running off to one of the practice rooms to claim as our own. I leave the two in there an venture out to find a guitar and a bass, deciding that Rory could figure out what parts of a drum kit he would need.

I return shortly and Rory goes off to find what he can.

"So what was the meeting about?" Fin asks as he tunes his instrument.
"Panic's not touring this year." I sigh.

"What?!" He exclaims in shock.

"Yeah." I sigh. "No touring, no writing."

"Why not?" Fin asks, the bass in his arms forgotten.

"I have no idea. Apparantly Bren wanted to take a break or something. But honestly I don't. So I'll probably help the others with stuff for a while." I sigh, returning to tuning the guitar as Rory re-enters with an acoustic snare drum.
"I vote acoustic song." He says, taking a seat on the box like instrument.

"I like it." I agree.

"Sounds like a plan." Fin smiles, getting up to go and find an acoustic bass and guitar.

---

"How was school?" Brendon asks as we sit at the table. I pick at my pasta and shrug. "It was okay. We started working on a cover in music." I'm still pissed about the no music thing, and if Brendon actually thinks that I'm gonna stop playing because he is he's got another thing coming.

"Look, I know it's gonna be a bit different, but we all need the time off." He reasons.
"No, Bren, it looks like you need the time off, and you still haven't told us the real reason. I need to be making music, with or without Panic." I tell him. He looks a little hurt after that, and I end up retreating up to my room.

Tanith: apparantly the music career is on hold for the year :/

Gerard: ????

Gerard: explain???

Tanith: idk man, Bren just told us earlier today. I'm so fucking pissed

Gerard: well we could always use the help with our new record

Tanith: how's that going btw?

Gerard: a little better. Still figuring shit out

Gerard: fin's been a great help. The kids got talent

Tanith: did you know he's almost at a mil subs on yt?

Gerard: WHAT

Gerard: NO I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT

Gerard: THIS CALLS FOR A PARTY

Tanith: can I come?

Gerard: no, no you are not welcomed

Tanith: lik dis if u cri evri time

Gerard: no

Tanith: but yes party

Gerard: PARTY

I smile and put my phone down. Maybe I'll help out My Chem for a while. Maybe I'll get some people together and record some of my own stuff.

I don't know what I'm gonna be doing, but I know that I'm not going to quit music because Brendon has.

I wonder if anyone's on a read this one.