The Fear Of Falling Apart

-17-

TRIGGER WARNING:

Mentions of self harm

Tanith's POV

When I wake up in the morning, I'm in a bed. I smile a little as I realise where I am, and smile even more when I smell the scent of pancakes.

I feel more rested then I've ever felt before as I sit up and stretch before getting out of the comfortable bed.

Me bare feet pad softly along the floorboards as I walk towards the kitchen.

"Good morning Tanith." Sarah says warmly, putting the pancakes onto a plate before turning off the burner and taking her own plate in her hands.

"Good morning." I respond, feeling a little better then yesterday.

We eat our pancakes and make small talk, much like Brendon and I do at home.

"Can I ask you a favour Tan?" She asks as she takes my now empty plate and puts it in the dishwasher.

"Sure." I smile in response.

"Would you be able to give me a crash course in all things emo?" She asks dramatically.

"L-Like my family?" I ask, unbelivedly excited at the prospect.

She nods as if it were obvious. "I gotta know about the coolest people on earth."

---

Fin's POV

I caught Pete in the bathroom, a razor in his hands. He wasn't cutting or anything, just staring at it, almost longingly.

The fact that he wasn't doing anything didn't stop me from darting over an snatching it from his hands.

He looks up, his face shocked and hurt, but before he can do anything else I'm running to my room and slamming the door behind me.

My phone buzzes and it takes me a moment to pull it from my pocket.

Dan: yo fin, you coming to vidcon??

I look down at it, not really feeling the effect of the words.

Fin: I don't know. Maybe. A lot of stuffs been happening, and I don't know if I can make it

Dan: that's alright buddy, take as long as you need. Me and Phil will see you some other time if you can't make it :)

I just put my phone down and let myself curl up in a ball.

Home has never felt so heartless.

---

Tanith's POV

"And that's Dallon." I point out, zooming in on his face on Sarah's iPad.

"So he plays bass?" She asks.

I nod happily. "On tour he just sits on his laptop in the bus until it's time to go on. But he's such an awesome guy. I love him to bits."

She smiles at me and I switch to Fall Out Boy, bringing up a photo of the band.

"If Panic and Fall Out Boy were people, they'd be best friends." I explain.

She listens to me talk on and on about Andy's tattoos and Pete's emo hair, only stopping once to ask a question.

"Who's that?" She points to the girl sitting next to me on the stage.

"That's Fin." My words are a lot softer now. "They're gender fluid. And my best friend in the world."