The Fear Of Falling Apart

-28-

 I'm thinking of rewriting the series, but idk.

Tan's POV

On the first night I spent at Spencer's house, we all sat around the living room, talking about the rules that were going to be put in place.

Well, the responsible adults talked about the rules. Fin, Jack and I were busy playing cards.

But at the end, Ray told us the outcome of all their talking. They only had two rules for me.

-Take my medication daily.

-Don't leave the house alone.

Sarah called the police station, and I got fifteen minutes to talk to my dad. I spent my time sitting outside, occasionally going to school and just trying to forget this was my life now. I slept in the living room on the couch, my dog cuddled up at my side.

In total, it just sucked.

Everyone did their best, and it was obvious their main priorities were me and Fin.

On day four, Jack and Zack headed out to do the shopping.

I had no intentions of going. I was happily napping in the shade outside, my earbuds in and my mind elsewhere. But Fin tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I wanted to come along.

So I got in the back of the car.

"This is gonna be fun." Jack cheers as Zack begins to drive. I shrug and share a look with Fin. He doesn't look overly thrilled about this either, but I guess we both decided to just stick it out.

When we pull into the car park, Jack is the first to jump out of the car.

We head inside, Zack pushing the cart as Jack rushes off to look at whatever it is he was raving about. Fin and I follow the only responsible adult into the grocery store. Zack grabs a shopping cart, and we begin to trudge down the first of many isles.

Just as we near the beginning of the second, his phone rings and he struggles to hold the cart with one hand and answer his phone with the other. "Hey Jack, you good?"

Fin and I share a look.

"Yeah, they'll be there in five." He says confidently. I narrow my eyes a little bit. "Cool, yeah, I'll see you later." Zack hangs up the phone and turns to us, holding the shopping cart with one hand.

"You guys should head to the water fountain." He advises. "Jack stayed up all night setting shit up."

I shrug, looking to Fin, who nods his head. "Yeah, sure thing. See you later?"

Zack nods in confirmation, smiling at us as we head out of the grocery store and into the main shopping pavilion.

"What do you think he planned?" Fin asks as we walk.

"Dunno, maybe like a really elaborate dick joke or something." I shrug. He smiles at that, and a few minutes later we arrive at our destination.

"Whats happening Barakat?" I ask, taking a seat beside our friend.

Jack smiles brightly at us, holding up a bag and Fin's camera. "We're gonna make a video."

"Jack, I don't think-" Fin begins.

"Come on, kid. Trust me just this once." He begs. "I've got everything set out, and you just have to do it."

Fin thinks for a moment. "Alright. But if you make a dick joke I'm cutting it out." Jack cheers happily.

"Alright, I also bought your tripod but I don't know how to set it up."

Fin sighs, moving over and setting it up. "Alright, I'll do the introduction and then you explain the game. Got it?" Jack nods happily and we all sit on the edge of the fountain.

Fin's POV

"Hey guys! This is a bit of a random video I didn't know was happening until a few minutes ago, so it's gonna be pretty unprofessional." I smile. "Today I am joined by my good friends Tanith Urie and Jack Barakat!" I point over to the two of them, smiling as Tan does awkward finger guns.

"Apparently Jack set up a game for us to play, so Jack would you like to explain?" I ask, turning to the 'adult.'

"Okay, it's pretty simple." He begins. "It's kinda like truth or dare, but if you choose truth you have to answer a 'would you rather' question. And if you pick dare, you have to do something of my choosing." He says evilly, holding up the bag.

"Sounds simple enough." I nod. "Lets get to it!"

We take a moment to situate ourselves, Tanith and I sitting on one side while Jack sits on the other.

"Fin, truth or dare?" He asks.

"Truth." I decide carefully.

"Would you rather have your head the size of a tennis ball or a watermelon?"

"Watermelon, defiantly." Its not really a hard decision.

Time goes on, and the game turns out to be far more fun then I had originally expected. Jack gave Tanith a PEZ dispenser, and we watched her offer strangers PEZ for half an hour. I had to walk into a clothes store and ask where the pet food was located. And we both had to try and scoop up as many coins from the fountain as we could in a minute.

The shenanigans went on for a few more hours, and I smiled and laughed more and more. Eventually we had to end it, as the stores were closing and Zack had already been back to Spencer's with the frozen items.

But filming that video took my mind off things for a while, and it was the most fun I'd had in a long time.

The weeks went on, and we all had our ups and downs. Tan and I had to go back to school a few days later, but we looked after eachother. Everyone worked together to get by, and although it was a bad time we made the best of it.

They did their best to keep us out of the legal stuff, and we did our best to get evolved. It took weeks before everything was okay again, and it felt like the bad times would never end.

Ray's promise of touring with the new album and Spencer's belief that Panic would resume work on the album kept us hoping, and eventually it all paid off.

On October 21st, the final ruling was made. Diane was sentenced to four years for attempted assault on a minor, and my so called 'father' was sentenced for fifteen years for attempted murder. The charges against everyone else were dropped, and I finally went home with Pete. Tanith and Sarah went back to their home with Buddy, and All Time Low headed back to Baltimore, promising to visit soon. Lucas' custody was handed over to Brendon.

It was the small things about home life that I had missed the most, I think.

Waking up and heading downstairs to find my dad eating cereal, or late night drives 'just because.' The inside jokes, the sarcasm and the music. I missed it all, but it finally came back. If nothing feels okay anymore, things will get better.

"Hey, dad?" I ask tiredly as I walk in after school.

"Hmmm?" Pete hums from the living room.

"What's a Hemingway?" I fall on the couch beside him. He smiles, amusement flooding his face as he lazily types something into his computer.

"This," he says, turning the laptop to face me. "Was a Hemingway." My heart melts as I look at the pictures of the French Bulldog.

Okay but for real, what happened to Hemmingway???????

Does anyone actually know?

I actually miss seeing the little doggo in videos and stuff :'(

I hate being sick so much sigh.