The Fear Of Falling Apart

-31-

This one's pretty shit.

Tanith's POV
"I'm so proud of my little girl!" Brendon exclaims, picking me up and spinning around in the air before putting me down.

"Thanks dad." I laugh.

"You're going on tour with your album!" He cheers, pride obvious on his face. "Its all finally paying off!"

"Yeah, I guess it has." I smile, leaning against the counter.

Sarah walks downstairs, Lucas in her arms and Buddy runs around her feet before jumping into my arms. "Good morning Tan." She smiles.

"Morning Sarah." I grin, kissing my dogs head and putting him down on the ground. Luca makes grabby arms at me and Sarah hands him over.

"Hey Lukey." I smile.

"Tanwif." He says, bringing his hands up to grab my face.

"You want some food bud?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Not hungy."

"Alright, let's go watch some Tv." I decide. Sarah walks into the living room with us, and the three of us sit down to watch Monsters Inc while Brendon headed into the kitchen to make breakfast.

Lucas is completely transfixed on the screen, sitting on the floor and watching.

"I can't believe your leaving in a few hours." Sarah murmurs, brushing my hair out of my face. "Your dad and I are so proud of you."

"Thanks, mum." I whisper without a second thought, leaning into her embrace. A moment later I realise what I said. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry that just kinda slipped out and-"

She laughs softly. "It's alright, Tan. I'm honoured you think of me like that."

A moment later Brendon walks into the room and smiles at the two of us. "Pancakes are ready."

We climb off the couch and I grab Lucas, situating him in his high chair and giving him his pre-cut breakfast. He likes to feed himself, so I let him do it.

"I'm so glad you guys get along." Brendon smiles, digging into his food. "It just feels more like a real family, you know?"

I smile at him and Sarah. "Yeah, it does."

We finish our food and I collect up the plates and put them in the dishwasher. I head up to my room and put the last of my things into my backpack in preperation for the next few months.

---

The plane ride was long and tiresome. I honestly just wanted to get out and get a bar of chocolate and then maybe sleep. Plane trips just really fuck with my head.

"We made it." Ray sighs happily as we enter the airport. I put my hat back on my head and stretch out my limbs. "Thank fuck for that."

We begin to walk through the airport, only running into a few fans on our way. We stop and take pictures, smiling and signing things before saying goodbye and continuing on our way.

"We're in London right now." Fin says, talking into her camera. "Just got off the plane and I think it's about two pm. I'm pretty sure we're heading to a hotel now..?" She looks to Gerard for an answer.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Tonight's a hotel night." He nods in confirmation.

Fin thanks him and goes back to talking to the camera. "Tomorrow night will be the first show of the tour, and we'll be getting on the bus in the morning." She cuts off the recording and puts her phone in her pocket. "Flights are draining." She sighs, walking beside me.

"Tell me about it." I smile softly.

We stop off a a Starbucks to grab some coffee on the way to the hotel, and end up getting it for free because the girl behind the register recognised us. We took pictures and signed her phone case, and it felt good.

When we finally arrived at the hotel, I collapse onto my bed, face first. I hear Fin do the same on the second bed, sighing contently.

"It's so soft." I murmur.

She doesn't say anything in response, but I know it's a mutual feeling.

I think we fell asleep for a little while, because suddenly Ray was there shaking us awake and telling us we were ordering room service. I grabbed my phone and put a SnapBack on backwards over my head before trudging after him and Fin, across the hall to Gerard and Mikey's room.

Everyone ends up sprawled across a bed, chair or on the floor, pizza in hand.

Beebo: Hows the first day going so far?

Tan: so far so good. First show's tomorrow, and I think I've got an interview in the morning.

Beebo: sounds like a busy one. Have fun sweetie <3

Tan: will do :) tell Sarah i say hi. Love you!

"Guys I know your all tired but I need you attention for a minute." A woman sighs, entering the room.

I share a look of confusion with Fin and Frank.

She glances over at us an smiles. "I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. My name's Jess, and I'm your tour manager."

Frank and I nod, 'ohhh'ing a little. "I'm Frank and that's Tanith and Fin." He introduces.

Jess nods and smiles her hello.

"What does a tour manager do exactly?" Fin asks quietly, looking nervous.

"Basically your tour mum." Gerard calls from his bed. "She makes sure we're where we need to be at the right time and that we don't wander off."

Fin nods quietly. "Thanks Gee."

"Tomorrow you guys have gotta be at the venue by four pm. Sound check's at four thirty, doors at seven and performance starts at eight. Tanith and Gerard, you guys have an interview in at eleven thirty am. There'll be a car to pick you up at eleven." Jess lists off.

Everyone nods, thanking her.

"Goodnight." She smiles, leaving the room.

"I like her." Fin smiles, getting to her feet. "But I'm really tired. I'm gonna go to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Goodnight!" Mikey calls, everyone adding their own variations as Fin exits the room.

Less then fifteen minutes later I follow, falling sleep to nothingness and the excitement of being in London.

Eh, not great but whatever. Here you go. This one was written on my phone, so it's not as good.

It actually kinda amazes me that I can take a class to play an instrument instead of history. Like, woah, that's pretty cool.

I've got a double of a shit class with a friend tomorrow and I don't wanna go. Sigh.

Hope this one was alright <3