The Fear Of Falling Apart

-14-

Tan's POV

I think it's been about a week, but I don't know. I have no real concept of time anymore. Sure, I go to sleep sometime after Diane leaves out through the hatch, but I don't know what time it is. I wish I had my phone, but God knows where that is now.

I've checked this place over and over, but there's no clock. The TV's a good option, but Diane's banned me from using it because I refuse to talk to her.

She tells me she just wants me to listen, to hear her out, that it's not what I think.

But I'm not talking to her.

During the days I spend my time in my room, or playing with Lucas. He thinks that my playing his toy ukulele is the most amazing thing he's ever seen, and always claps when he watches me.
And I bet you don't know how many different adventures you can have with hot wheels cars.

He's made it bearable during the days.

It's at night when I realise how alone I really am right now. That's the time when I promise myself that I'll get out of here, and then cry because I know I may not be able to keep it.

I've kept my precious polaroid pictures under my bed. Nobody's going to touch them. Nobody but me.

A knock at the door makes me sigh angrily, but I don't put down the green plastic dinosaur in my hand. I hear the door open, but ignore it.

"Tanith."

Lucas giggles as I pretend to accidentally drop the dinosaur and gasp in mock confusion.

"Tanith we need to talk."

He gasps in shock as I pick it up and make it walk along the ground towards his foot.

"Tanith, listen to me!"

I glance up at her, unamused.

She holds up a CD, and everything stops. My eyes water up at the image of Brendon smoking a rainbow cigarette, and my heart leaps into my chest.

"First we talk, then you can have this. There's an old CD player somewhere."

The deal was sealed as soon as he held up the album.

---

Fin's POV

"Pete?" I call, walking out of the house. My bare feet touch the cold concrete and I bite the inside of my cheek as I step into the backyard.

"Pete?" I repeat, glancing around nervously at the darkness.

"Fin." Comes his voice. I glance up to find him sitting on the roof of the house, feet dangling dangerously over the edge. "What are you doing up?"

I ignore him and step closer. "Why are you on the roof?" I don't think he can tell how much I've been crying as of late.

He looks down at me with a tear stained face and smiles softly. "It's just something I do when I'm sad."

I feel my pocket for my phone, looking at him carefully. "I'm gonna call Mikey and Patrick, okay?"

He just nods, looking down at his feet sadly.

---

Tan's POV

"You have to understand that this was my last resort." She tells me.