The Fear Of Falling Apart

-35-

Tanith's POV

I drifted in and out of consciousness for long time. It was more annoying then anything else, just because I wanted to get up and do something. Anything.

The first few times I fell back asleep on my own. I was in a confined dark space, probably the trunk of a car or something. I was between awake and asleep so much that I just needed something to be real. In my dreams I'd see things. Things like the people I love dying, or even things that happened. I saw Brendon and Ryan crying over my hospital bed from the attack. I saw myself tumbling down that hill.

I saw Fin on the day we first met them. I saw Gerard and Frank fighting, screaming at each other in anger. I saw Ryan and Jon leaving, and I saw Dallon playing bass and Kenny playing guitar at a Panic! show. I saw Tyler and Josh playing with Lucas and I saw the crowd from every performance I'd ever attended.

It was beautiful and amazing and scary, and I just wanted it all to end.

Eventually I felt like I could wake up for good, but every time I tried somebody would prick me with another syringe, and my mind would be forced to go back to sleep again. I didn't get to see much of my surroundings - from what I could tell it was just a dark room.

Imagine being held underwater, just long enough so you start to panic. Someone yanks you up, and you can breathe again. But then you're pushed back down, and the routine begins again. That's what it was like.

But eventually I woke up, and nobody stabbed a syringe into my neck. I sat up slowly, rubbing my aching limbs and pushing my feet over the edge of the bed as I scanned my surroundings. I was in a small room. The walls were made of brick, and the floor was just stone. The bed was the only piece of furniture in the room, other then a chair across from me.

In the chair sat a boy about my age, maybe a little older. He had dark skin and even darker hair, and a strangely calm expression on his face. "Hello, Tanith Marks."

"It's Urie now." I mumble, forcing my hands to sit still.

He nods. "If that is what you would prefer. Of course, it really doesn't matter anymore, does it?"

I bite my lip. "You're the one who was sending the letters."

He nods again. "Yes."

"Are you going to kill me?" I feel my hands begin to shake.

"That's up to you." He responds simply. "I am not going to lie to you or try to trick you in any way. But somebody will die today."

I swallow thickly. "Me. Kill me."

"All in good time." He says. "In the other room we have some of your friends and family. In a moment I am going to bind your arms and take you to them."

"Why?" I whisper.

"Because you are going to feel as much pain as I did." He says, nose twitching. He stands and gestures for me to do the same. I push myself to my feet and he turns me around. I feel metal clasp around one hand, and then the other.

The boy leads me gently out of the room and into a corridor. The light was on here, and it hurt my eyes, but we didn't stay long. I was lead to another room. The walls here were still brick, and the floor was still stone, but the light was on.

Brendon was sitting in a chair, head in his hands. His hair was a mess, and there was dried blood on his face, but he was still him. Gerard was leaning against a wall, a black eye adorning his face. Frank was sitting on the floor, knees bought up to his chest and head resting atop. Mikey and Ray were both sitting on the only bed in the room, and Tyler and Josh both sat against the wall to the left. Fin sat with his back against the bed, staring blankly ahead.

Every single one of them looked up when we entered. The boy un-cuffed me and then gestured for me to go and join my family

"Tanith." Brendon whispered, engulfing me in a hug.

"Hey dad." I smile tearfully.

The boy cleared his throat. "You have all been bought here because of the actions of Tanith Urie. My name is not important, and I will not be telling you what it is, but it was you who killed my father."

I stare at him, shocked. "I-"

"He was shot, right in front of me." The boy continues, his eyes watering up as he stares angrily at us. "He begged for mercy. He begged on his knees but they just put a bullet in his chest and forgot about it."

We all stand there in complete silence and stare at him. "I'm sorry." I tell him quietly.

He shakes his head. "Sorry will never, ever be enough for that. And now one of you will die." He takes out a gun and holds it loosely. "One of you two." He adds, pointing it at me and then Fin in turn. I feel Brendon's arms tighten around my shoulders as he tenses up. But I step away and right into the middle of the room.

"Me." I repeat, glancing at the floor and then up to his eyes. "Shoot me."

I'm sorry, guys. So many of you are gonna hate me by the end of the week, and I'm sorry.

Maybe I'm uploading these too fast now. Maybe I should drag it out a little longer. idk.

Lol my fren is away at her dads house and there's no wifi and she's gonna come back and kill me this is great.

My wife is also going to kill me bc of all this.

Life is so great.

If you're looking for something to cheer you up after this, I highly recommend the book 'Breadbin goez 2 hell' by my good fren Panic1474. It's a crack fic, and its fucking brilliant.

I really am sorry about this books ending, though.