Stardust- A Jyn and Cassian Fanfiction

Chapter 7- Cassian

I have completely lost track of how many days we've been here.  But it definitely hasn't been enough.  Jyn is sleeping on my chest again.  It's the middle of the night.  I shouldn't be awake, yet here I am, unable to sleep again.  The war has really changed me, seeing the death of nearly everyone I've ever cared about, other than Jyn.  I can't sleep anymore, thinking about them.  So I stay awake, becoming more exhausted day by day.  I sort of wish that Jyn would wake up.  It's very lonely and quiet without her making bad puns and threatening me.  Although I'm fairly sure that she wouldn't ever carry out any of the threats that she has mentioned.  Most of them involve either a painful death, or just excruciating pain without the death part.  And she wouldn't want to put me in pain.  She like likes me, so she wouldn't.  Right? Maybe?! 

On my chest, Jyn stirs, closing her eyes tight.  She twitches her head slightly, thrashing around. Her heart beats rapidly, her face terrified.  She's murmuring "no" over and over, tears glistening on her cheeks.  She's having a nightmare.  My heart breaks when I see her in agony, crying to something that I cannot change or fix.  I tap her shoulder in desperation, trying to wake her up.  But it's no use.  She's a really deep sleeper.  I wish I could take her out of her misery, but I have to settle for simply holding her really tight, trying to tell her subconscious mind that I'm here.  I wish I could wake her up.  

Solving my issue, Jyn's eyes fly open, wide with sadness and fear.  She trembles uncontrollably in my embrace, tears still falling down her face.  Whatever she saw, she's very shaken up.  It must've been bad, because I've only seen Jyn cry two other times.  I run one hand across her back, and the other resting on the back of her head, trying to comfort her as much as I can.

"It's okay." I whisper softly.  "I'm here. We're alive.  We're safe.  We have each other.  It was just a nightmare."

"You left me." she sobs, breathing hard.  "You died in the blast, I saw your lifeless body... and then I was alone again, just like I've been for so long... I was in the dark, crying for anyone to come, but no one did... It was so awful..."

"Oh, mi estrella." I say, my eyes full of sorrow.  I hug her tighter.  "I'm not dead.  It was just a dream."

"But what if it was real?" she asks, her desperate eyes locked on mine.  My heart shatters like glass at her heartbroken face.  I kiss her firmly in an attempt to calm her down.  She responds quickly, sighing quietly against my lips.  

"I'm not going to die any time soon. Don't worry." I whisper, pulling away slightly.  "We lived.  You saved us.  We're all okay."

Jyn nods, wiping a tear away from her eye.  "Thank you, mi luna."

She holds onto me tightly, her breath slowly steadying.  Her head is resting on my shoulder, and her hair is a mess again.  Which gives me an idea.

"Do you want another head massage?" I ask, brushing a few hairs behind her ear.

She sighs happily. "Yes, please."

I proceed to run my fingers through her hair, softly massaging from the side up to the crown of her head.  Jyn instantly relaxes, her muscles softening.  Her eyes close slowly, and she snuggles up close to me.  Man, she's freaking adorable.  My heart mends just by seeing her untroubled face.

"You know, I'm probably not going to fall asleep again." she mumbles into my shoulder.  

"That's okay.  I can't sleep either.  We can watch the sunrise." I reply, still massaging her head.  

She smiles.  "I'd like that." She looks up into the starry sky, her eyes fixated on the moon.  The stars gleam like diamonds against black satin.  A full moon shines in the sky, illuminating Jyn's precious face.  Stardust litters the sky, leaving me in awe of the sheer beauty of the nighttime sky.  But the stardust next to me shines brighter than all of the stars in the sky.  Not just in looks, but in her heart as well.  She radiates love and hope.  I look over, and Jyn is clearly just as amazed as I am.