Letters To A Stranger

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

"Dear Isak,

Yesterday will most certainly count to the best days of my life. Never in a million years I would've expected you to react the way you did.

You never cease to amaze me, Isak.

After you made me the most beautiful love declaration that the world has ever seen, we kissed till our lungs couldn't keep up anymore, till my tears were dried up and I had a smile plastered on my face.
A smile you are responsible for.
Then, I told you everything you needed to know about my mental illness, that I have manic as well as depressive phases and that my behavior of last week was the start of my manic phase.
You just listened to me, carefully, like you wanted to catch every detail.
I told you that I can be very hard to deal with when I'm manic as well as depressive, and that, if I only once forget my medication, can behave unpredictable and even dangerous.
I wanted to make sure you know what you'll deal with.
I wanted you to know how hard it can be.

But you, being the amazing man you are, said that no matter how difficult and crazy things would get, you'd stick by my side.
I can't explain how happy that made me.
It felt so f*cking good to be accepted for who I am, not only accepted, but also loved. Never before in my life someone has treated me so lovingly.
The words you said to me yesterday have made up for every time someone treated me differently because of my mental illness or every time someone bullied me because of it.
The wounds from the past, they are not completely healed, but they are getting better and better with every kiss, every tender touch.

I don't know how I deserve someone like you, Isak. I don't know how I can be the man you deserve. I just hope that you'll never want leave my side, because I can promise you, that I won't ever leave yours.

After we cuddled some time in bed yesterday and just talked about everything and nothing, we ate the soup you made (I'm still not over the fact how cute you are for cooking me soup) and then my mother came in and gently, but strictly asked you to leave so I could have a rest. Well, she doesn't know that your presence is the best chance at rest I've got. But who am I to complain, I did have the most amazing afternoon in my life.

Today is Friday and I hope that my parents will let you come over this evening. After I had explained to you that my depressive phase is about to begin, which is, despite the medication, pretty intense, you insisted on coming over and 'taking care of me'. Although normally I'd say that I don't need someone to take care of me, I won't say no to cuddle sessions and kisses on the forehead. So, you said you'd come over at 6 pm, which is in one hour. I can't wait.

All my love,

Even."

Even put down the pen and paper and climbed out of his bed. Before leaving the room, he stuffed the letter, as always, into the cookie box.

"Mum?" Even called out, as he searched the flat for his mother.
He found her in the kitchen, where she was preparing dinner.
"Yes, honey?" she looked up from the cucumber she was cutting for the salad and smiled at Even.
"Can Isak come over at 6? Please?" Even asked and smiled at her pleadingly.
His mum put down the knife and sighed. "Yes. Under one condition."
Even felt relief wash over him, as well as happiness. He would see Isak in less than an hour!

"Anything." Even answered and raised his eyebrows, his good mood spread all over his face.
"Tell me what's going on between the two of you. Are you together now?" Even's mother asked, curiosity in her voice.
Even hesitated. He had not expected his mother to be so open-minded about all this.
"We are not together, no. But we are definitely something. And I really hope that we'll be more in the future, because..." Even started, as his thoughts trailed off.
"Because you are in love?" his mother finished the sentence for him. Even nodded shyly, but beamed from ear to ear.
"I figured. The way your eyes light up when you talk about him. The way you two look at each other, it's obvious that these are more than friendly feelings." his mother said and smiled warmly at Even.