Letters To A Stranger

What if I had one more night for goodbye?

Isak's P.O.V. 

Isak ripped open the door to the ICU. "Visiting hours are over, Mr. Valtersen." the nurse said and shot him a sympathetic smile from behind her desk.
"Do I look like I care?" Isak snapped, but regretted it immediately.
All Julie ever did was be nice to him.
The blonde woman looked down onto the papers laying in front of her, her lips forming into a fine line.

"I'm sorry." Isak mumbled and came to a stand in front of her.
"There's just something I have for Even." he continued as Julie looked up to him. Her eyes wandered to the roll of paper in his hands and slowly, she began to nod.

"Alright, but hurry. I don't want anyone to see you, okay? That'll get us both into trouble." she said and sent him a strict glare.
Isak smiled at her gratefully and hastily made his way to Even's room. 

As always, the sight of Even's pale body sent shivers down Isak's spine and he felt his heart hurt in his chest.
The faint evening light piercing through the white curtains seemed to spread over Even's face, creating shadows and highlights here and there.
The shadows of Even's eyelashes were painted against his cheeks, making him look like an angel to Isak. 

"Hello, my love." Isak whispered as he sat down onto Even's bed.
"How are you feeling, baby?" he asked, as he reached out his left hand and let his fingertips gently trace over Even's cheekbones.

"It's been so long since I've seen those lips of yours smile." Isak continued as he let his thumb stroke over Even's lower lip. It was as soft as always, probably because Isak had put lip butter on them every day, so that they wouldn't get dry and crack. Isak wanted his boyfriend to feel as little pain as possible when he'd wake up.
"Hell, it's been so long since I've kissed them." Isak went on and stared at the older boys' lips for a while. Then, he let his fingers move on to Even's eyelids.

"I wish I knew what is going on in that head of yours. The doctor said you might hear some things I say, only that you are in some kind of dream world and can't make any sense out of them.
If you are dreaming, I hope they aren't nightmares." Isak's lips formed into a sad smile and he felt another lump in his throat.
"I hope you're dreaming of us." 

Gradually, Isak lifted first one, then the other leg up and placed them next to Even's on the bed, careful not to get in the way of any tubes.

"Julie will kill me if she sees this." Isak chuckled as he snuggled as close as possible to his boyfriend.
"But I don't care. They can't tell me it's wrong that I want to be close to you. As long as it's not bad for you and I'm not harming you, they can't tell me it's wrong." Isak repeated and lifted his chin up to place a soft peck onto Even's cheek.

"Like you always said, there's not a thing a good cuddle can't heal." 

Isak stayed silent for a few seconds, as if he was waiting to hear Even's laughter. His laughter was still so present in Isak's head, he could still perfectly remember the sound of it, but at the same time, it felt like he had heard it in another life. 

"I know about the letters.." Isak began as he let his fingertips wander down Even's arm.
"Although they can't really be called letters if they were never meant to be read by the person they were addressed to in the first place." Isak said and a light smile formed on his face, which soon disappeared again.

"It was really painful for me to read about the way you feel about yourself sometimes, Even. I hate to know that you are so insecure about yourself. If you could only see yourself with my eyes someday. Then you would look at the most kind and beautiful man you'll ever come across, inside and out. Why can't you see that you are worthy to love yourself?"  

Isak reached out his hand and took the roll of paper which he had placed on the nightstand earlier.
"I wrote you a letter as well, baby." he said as he began to unfold the piece of paper in his hands.
"It may not be as poetic and beautifully written as yours are, but I promise you, I put my everything into it."
The younger boy took his boyfriend's hand into his own and gently let his thumb stroke over Even's palm.