Letters To A Stranger

I want you and your beautiful soul

"Dear most beautiful boyfriend in the whole wide world,

Over a week has passed since I asked you to be my boyfriend. And it has been almost a month since I first talked to you. I still can't believe how everything happened so fast. When I think back to my first letter, where I didn't even know your name, it seems so unreal to me where we are now. Back then I would've never even imagined to talk to you, let alone kiss you. I thought nobody, besides Sonja, would ever be able to love me, to accept who I am.

But I was wrong, because you never judged me. You treat me so accepting and lovingly, that I'm not sure how I deserve someone like you. I'm still dreading to wake up one day and realize all had just been a dream. That would be easier to believe and more realistic than what is happening in real life. I mean, YOU are MY boyfriend. We are BOYFRIENDS. Unbelievable, right? 

The first thing I did after you left last Friday, was telling my mum what happened. She was so happy for me.
I haven't told dad yet, because I barely see him and I still have to tell him that I like boys in the first place. Mum said she didn't tell him because she thinks it is my choice when and how to tell him.
I have no idea how he'll react. Mum suspects that he's going to be a little bit irritated and confused at first, but that he'll get used to it eventually. I hope he will accept it, I couldn't bear it if he hates me.  

Anyways, in the past week not much has happened. My depressive phase started (which is why I haven't written any letters) and I still couldn't go to school, because it was worse than usually. David came by on Wednesday to bring me some school stuff I've missed but I couldn't motivate myself to do any of it. I hope that he didn't get suspicious, because he asked why I looked so 'healthy' although having the flu for two weeks straight. I said it's because I was almost healthy again. I have thought about telling him what's the real reason behind my absence at school, but I don't trust him enough yet. 

The best thing about the last few days were the late evenings, when you would come over and we cuddled and kissed and you read a book to me. I love it when you read to me, it gives me a feeling of peace and I immediately start to feel comfortable and calm.
It was a book from "The mortal instruments" series and every time there was a scene where Alec and Magnus kissed or did something cute you stopped reading for a moment, looked up and smiled at me, as if to check if it reminded me of us, too. You would make me some tea and food and every time you went to the kitchen, I heard my mum and you laugh together. It makes me happy that the two of you get on so well. My dad got home really late all of last week because of work, so he didn't get suspicious.

Tomorrow's Monday and I'm finally going back to school because I'm much better. Normally, I need much more time to get over my depressive phase, but normally, I don't have a heart-warming boyfriend by my side through it, so I guess you're getting the credit for that I'm better now, Isak.
I'm really tired so I'll go to bed now, I can't wait to see you tomorrow!

Yours, Even."

Even put away the letter and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and change into his pajamas.
As he lay in his bed, he grabbed the t-shirt Isak left him for when Even misses him and nuzzled his face into it. It smelled like a mixture of cocoa and vanilla.
Even would give everything to hold Isak right now, fall asleep next to him. But for now, his t-shirt would have to be enough. Even wondered how the two of them would interact at school tomorrow. They hadn't talked about whether they wanted to come out to everyone or keep their relationship a secret at first.
We'll have to talk about that tomorrow, Even thought and pressed
Isak's t-shirt to his heart, while falling into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, as Even walked into his classroom, the other students looked at him weirdly. No wonder, Even thought, he would be suspicious, too, if someone had been sick for two weeks.
He took his seat next to David and got out his German books and his case.