Letters To A Stranger

I could take the back road but your eyes will lead me straight back home

"Dear Isak,

Yesterday really was a day full of surprises. You finally opened up to me, told me what is going on in your head.
And when I left after we watched an episode of 'Sense 8', I felt so relieved and happy.
I mean, you let me touch your cheek, you wanted to be held by me, like I was a source of comfort to you.
And most importantly, you were stone cold sober through it all. Crazy huh?

It is currently 3 pm and I just came home from school. When you walked past me today at school, you smiled at me and said 'hi'. My legs got all wobbly at that moment. I wonder if you feel the same way about me. I wonder if your hands get all sweaty, too, when you're near me.
It was just a simple smile, but to my body is was like an earthquake. Just imagine what it would feel like to kiss you, then.
Alright, I am thinking waay to far. I don't even know if you feel anything towards me. Maybe you just needed someone to listen to you. Maybe you just needed someone to hold you and it didn't have to be me in particular.
The most important thing right now is not to rush anything. Even if you don't feel something for me, at least I want to be your friend. I would hate to see you hurt, or lonely.

See you (hopefully) tomorrow,

Your Even"

Even put the letter, as usual, in the cookie box and made his way to the kitchen. His parents were still at work. Sonja had invited herself over this afternoon and she would be there any moment.
Even poured himself a glass of water and sipped on it. He still didn't know what he felt towards Sonja or if he still wanted to be with her and his recent encounters with Isak didn't help him much.
Promptly, Even heard someone knock on the door. Had to be Sonja.
Even put down the glass, then he lazily walked to the door and opened up.
But the person standing in the hallway, a cocky smile on their face, wasn't Sonja, it was a too familiar blue-eyed boy with a grey snapback on.

"Isak?" Even blurted out, the surprise written all over his face. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came by to bring you the scarf you forgot at my place yesterday." Isak answered and indeed pulled out Even's black scarf out of his bag.
Isak made a few steps towards Even.

"Thanks again for..you know..being there for me." The younger boy whispered in Evens ear and before he knew what was happening, Even felt a pair of soft lips press against his right cheek.

Even could've died happily right there and then. Isak's lips lingered a few seconds on Even's skin, then he let go. Even could feel the spot on his cheek, where Isak's lips were placed seconds ago, tingle.
The younger boy looked on the floor, a shy smile on his face.
The sweet moment of silence was destroyed by an angry sounding female voice.

"What on earth are you doing?" Both boys turned around quickly. Sonja eyed the two of them suspiciously.
"Who are you?" Sonja said and raised an eyebrow in Isak's direction.
"And why the hell are you kissing my boyfriends cheek?" she continued, crossing her arms. Oh shit.
Even turned to Isak, who was looking back and forth between him and Sonja.

"I..I..thought..uhm..what?!" Isak stammered, confused.
"I think you have to go, boy." Sonja said and gave him one last pejorative look before she walked past him and entered the flat.

"I'm sorry." Even said, looking down.
"Why are you apologizing? You have a girlfriend. It'd be a miracle if you didn't have one, to be honest." Isak said dryly.
"No, I.." Even began, but Isak had already turned around. "Isak, wait!" the older boy yelled, but Isak ignored him and left the building without another word.
Even looked after him.

Great. He had just received a kiss on the cheek from the man of his dreams and now said man thought he was straight as a ruler. And on top of that, Sonja now probably thought he was having a thing with a boy. Well, at least one of them was right.
After a while, Even took a deep breath and then went back into the flat and closed the front door behind him.

He found Sonja in his bedroom, leaning against the ladder of his bed. Even bit his lips.
He could just tell her he didn't have feelings for her anymore and that would be it.
But Even knew it probably wouldn't be this easy.

"You could've just told me, you know." Sonja suddenly spoke up, sadness visible in her voice.
"Tell you...what?" Even asked, growing nervous. He didn't know what to do, what to say to her.
"That you're not in love with me anymore." Sonja said and slowly made a few steps in Evens direction.

Even gulped. If he told Sonja the truth, she would dump him.
And then he would be alone, probably forever.
Besides, Sonja had always been there for Even and although sometimes, she acted like his guardian, overall she was a good person and Even didn't want to hurt her.

"Have you got nothing to say?" Sonja spoke up again, distracting Even from his chaotic thoughts.

"I..uh..Isak is just a very..affectionate person and..it's just how he is. He didn't mean the kiss as a..romantic gesture, more as a..friendly one." Even stuttered, running his fingers through his hair.

Sonja raised her eyebrows. "Sure." she said. "You know what I think, Even?"
Now it was Evens turn to raise his eyebrows. "What?" he answered hesitantly.

"I think you're starting to be manic again, Even. I don't think it's healthy for you to start developing some imaginary feelings for a boy. I think you'll have to talk to your parents and go to the doctors again." Sonja said with severity in her voice.
Even winced at the word 'manic'. His mental illness had always been a sensitive subject for him. And who was she to say that his feelings were imaginary? Even had never felt something so real  before.

"Where have you met that boy?" Sonja asked. "At school." Even said shortly.
"Have you ever met him outside of school?" "No." Even lied.
"I know when you're lying, Even. I know you." Sonja said, a trace of anger in her voice.

"Fine." Even said. "I've seen him at a party." Sonja raised her eyebrows. Why did she always have to do that?
"I think it's best if you stop seeing that..boy." Sonja said. "Or else people might start to think you're gay." she continued, pronouncing the word 'gay' as if it was something disgusting to her.

Even started to feel annoyed. "And why would that be wrong?" he asked her.
"Seriously?" Sonja responded. "Because you are with me !" she yelled.

"I think.." Even said calmly "I think it's best if you leave now."
Sonja stared at him with disbelieve.

"I mean it. Get out." Even said and Sonja seemed a little bit taken aback by his sudden outburst.

When she was finally gone, Even took a deep breath. How did everything turn into such a mess so quickly? Why did Isak come over today in the exact moment that Sonja came over, too? Why did she have to see the kiss?
The kiss. Even's heart jumped at the thought of it. Maybe after all, it wasn't that  absurd to think Isak might be interested in him.
But even if that was the case, after the encounter with Sonja today Isak probably wasn't interested anymore.
How could Even fix this?

Even went back into his bedroom and climbed up into his bed.
Suddenly, his phone began vibrating in his pocket. Even took it out and looked at the display. He had one new friend request from Sana Bakkoush.
Even thought about the girl and how she had offered him to be there if he ever needed someone to talk to.
And now, that definitely was the case.
Therefore, Even accepted the request and opened a new chat with Sana. Then, he began typing.