Dominika (Pale As Dead I) | COMPLETED

𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 - 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎

┗━━━━━━━ ｄｅｅ ━━━━━━━┓

𝚘𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟹𝟶, 𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝟷:𝟹𝟶 𝚙.𝚖.

I sent the hundredth text message to Shishi but a few minutes had already gone by and I still had not received any response. Okay, not literally the hundredth, but probably close to that number na. Lagi rin niya akong binababaan kapag tumatawag ako.

Lumabas muna ako sa theater room to refill my cup with coffee. Hindi ko rin maintindihan yung pinapanood kong movie so I paused it muna.

My footsteps echoed sa buong bahay namin. As usual, ako lang ang nandito. And Ate Julia, Manang Belinda, and Manong Allan. Sila lang ang naiiwan sa bahay kapag umuuwi sila Mommy sa Lesovostok. Kapag nandito sila sa Philippines, pinapabalik nila yung iba. Like yung dalawang anak ni Manang Belinda. Saka yung chef nila. Mom hosted parties din kasi minsan sa bahay. Hindi lang niya ginawa when they were last here kasi kakawala lang ng lola ko.

I went to the kitchen and refilled my drink. Umupo ako sa breakfast nook na katabi ng glass window that overlooked the other side of the garden. The lighting in this part of the house was one of the bests, bukod sa light na pumapasok sa kwarto ko through my balcony. Although medyo makulimlim ngayon. From where I sat, I could see the small family area dito sa kitchen. There was the TV across the couch that painfully reminded me of the couch where I used to sleep on in Shishi's condo. Nandito rin yung ibang books ni Mommy pero yung mga treasured niya, nasa living area sa taas.

Limot ko na yung huling beses na umupo kami sa family area na 'to. We had at least four areas like this inside the house—the theater room, the living areas in the first and second floor, and this. But the three of us had never really gathered in any of these places for a very long time now. Sa family area na 'to sa kitchen, dito kami nanonood ni Mommy Alicia dati ng favorite local telenovelas niya every night while she drank her tea and I my coffee.

Sobrang vivid pa rin sa akin ng memories na yun na kasama ko si Mie dito. Parang kahapon lang na huli ko siyang kasama while I drew an invisible circle around the non-stick bandage sa arm niya where the needle used in her chemoteraphy punctured her.

It was a Sunday morning when I went inside her room to wake her up for breakfast. It never happened kasi siya yung laging nanggigising sa akin. Nine in the morning na that day so nagtaka ako when I woke up nang kusa ko kasi hindi ako ginising ni Mie.

I ran to her room na katapat ng living area sa taas. Pagdating ko doon, bukas yung pinto. Ate Julia and Manang Belinda stood beside Mie's bed while they cried.

"Why? What happened po?"

"Ma'am, sorry. Hindi po namin alam kung pa'no ka namin gigisingin."

Mie was buried that Friday rin, the first of June, a day before my sixteenth birthday. My parents booked a flight that same day I found her lying on her side, her lips as blue as the sky when it neared dusk. I could not remember much after that, kahit yung conversation with Zach's parents, but I knew I cried for two days straight.

First, I lost Zach in April. Then I lost my baby at the beginning of May. Then I lost Mie before the month ended. Parang pinatay na rin ako noon. Sana, inisang bagsak na lang kasi prolonged agony was worse than a quick, cruel death.

So fuck cancer.

My phone vibrated and my heart jumped in anticipation. When I saw his name in my screen, para akong bata na first time makahawak ng laruan. I carefully picked up my phone kasi natatakot ako na baka malaglag ko yun at masira ko at hindi ko na mabasa ang sinabi ni Shishi.