See Me

Chapter Twenty Three

Some people think falling in love happens gradually over time.

But I think it is like jumping off a cliff. Falling in love is throwing your entire being, heart and mind and soul and body, blindly off a ledge, where what awaits at the bottom is a mystery.

Falling in love happens at one specific moment, one incident that shoves you off the edge and helplessly into midair. Falling in love is like shooting an arrow with your eyes closed. Falling in love is... unpredictable.

*

"I love you, CC," Liam whispers to me that night, as we lay in my bed. He snuck out after his parents thought he was asleep.

"I love you, too," I say, releasing the words I have held in for as long as I can remember. I press my lips to his and let him roll me beneath him. He settles himself between my legs, grinding gently, and I moan softly.

"Please," I whisper, and he kisses across my collarbone before propping himself up on one hand.

"Now? You want to do it now?" I nod.

"You have no excuse to say no," I laugh quietly. "It isn't my first time, and my mom isn't home."

"Please don't remind me that the Class A Jackass was your first. I've wanted that spot since I was eleven."

I roll my eyes and kiss him again. He groans into my mouth when I cup him through his boxers. I gently push them down his legs with my feet as his hands creep up my shirt.

"In any case, I am your first. Your first time is something you give to someone you love, and the way Daniel took it was shitty. I'm your first, Sierra, always will be."

Suddenly, we are in a frenzy to get naked, to make up for all the time we've lost. He kisses down between my breasts, nipping at my stomach until he reaches my underwear, hooking his fingers in it and drawing it down my legs.

"You're beautiful," he whispers huskily, meeting my eyes.

"Liam," I gasp, when he kisses up my thighs and across my hips, just above where I really want him.

"I love the way you say my name," he says, smirking as he kisses back up to my mouth, pinning my arms above my head.

"Quit teasing me," I groan. "I want you."

"Really?" he says, laughing. "That's weird because I need you." He kisses my neck as he gropes around for a condom. I hear the crinkling of the foil packet tearing, and then I feel us becoming one.

And nothing has ever felt so right, so necessary. So real.

*

The next morning, Liam drives me to school, and the first person I see is Madison. She and Daniel are yelling, arms flailing, in a corner of the parking lot.

I look at Liam warily.

"Ignore it," he says as we walk to the front doors, our fingers entwined.

I would ignore it, but I can't help but ease drop.

"Are you sure it's mine?!" Daniel cries and Madison gives a bitter smile.

"I haven't had sex with anyone since you," she says and he groans.

"What the fuck Madison! I don't understand -"

"Looks like they got what was coming to them, huh?" Liam says, interrupting my eavesdropping.

I laugh. "Looks like it." He kisses my cheek and pulls me inside.

*

"Joey," I say, when I reach my locker once Liam has left for class. He gives me a wary smile.

"Hey Sierra," he says, and then sighs.

"You're pissed aren't you."

"I have one thing to say to you," I say, and he looks at me expectantly. "Please say you want to be a journalist? That mass text article was... brilliant, actually."

He grins at me. "I am actually interested in journalism," he laughs. "So you're not mad?"

I roll my eyes. "I should be, considering that you and my so called best friend went behind my back and sent that text, but you saved the day in the end, so I guess I owe you an apology."

"I'm waiting," he says with a grin after a minute.

I laugh. "Joey, that's what debtors prison was for. Looks like that's where I'm headed because that's a debt I'm not planing on paying!"

I take off down the hall laughing, ignoring the looks people were casting at me. Pity, sympathy, amusement, a bit of malice thrown in, but it didn't really matter, because as he walked down the hall the only person I saw was Liam.

And I was glad he could finally see me, too.