And She Died Again ¦✔

~06~ Hurt

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end

~ Nine Inch Nails "Hurt"

"Let me get this straight why exactly are you moving out?" Bill Trunkett asked nonchalantly.

"We are not actually moving out, we will be back after some few months," Cecil sighed. She had been trying to get Bill to see things from her point of view. It was almost impossible for her to live in her current situation. Just passing by Ali's room gave her a nervous-breakdown. She was a complete and utter mess. Without a second thought, she immediately agreed with Jim when he brought up the idea that they had to leave Woodwave and come back after some time. If it weren't for Jim's support and firmness she was sure she would have already been locked up in a rehabilitation center. 

"I'm really trying to understand you Cecil, but I don't know how to. First you break off our relationship to patch things up with your husband which I found no problem with, and now this?" Bill asked, overwhelmed with chagrin.

"This is what Ali would have-"

"Just stop right there Cecil! Were you going to say Ali would have wanted this?" He asked and continued without waiting for her reply. "How do know what Ali would have wanted when you are so self absorbed to think about others. God help me for I'm slowly loosing my mind. You shouldn't have told me this because I believe I have nothing else to do with your family, at least where you are concerned." He said, fully spitting venom."

Cecil willed back the tears which threatened to spill. "I thought you would understand," Her lips quavered.

"I understand Cecil, I'm just sick and tired of seeing you make stupid decisions. I know I clearly have no say in your life now but do you really have to go? Think about it and let me know when you change your mind. I'll be right here waiting for you to come back to me."

"My mind is already made up Bill, our flight is tomorrow. What you and I had was nothing but a dream; it is about time we woke up to reality. I need to do this for me, for Court and for Jim. I'm sorry but Woodwave holds nothing but painful memories, even the beautiful times we spent together cannot counter that. I'm sorry." She finally let go of the tears and cried out till she felt empty. 

Why had she agreed to speak to Bill? She should have just left without having gone through all the pain she felt now. The pain of saying goodbye to a man she truly loved with all her heart, the pain of watching the eyes which used to look at her with love now turn into hate, the pain of never getting to revisit the beautiful times she had spent with the man she loved due to a twist of fate. If she knew things would have suddenly taken a downward slope, she would have wished every time they had spent together lasted longer. She watched with a tear streamed face as Bill eyed her with a look she couldn't quite decipher.

"So I guess this is a goodbye then. I'll relay this information to Kristen. If that is all, I have something to get back to so if you will excuse me," He said standing up from the seat he had occupied, "It was nice meeting you Mrs Pepperman." He added, quickly walking out of her apartment.

Cecil dropped her gaze to the floor, trying hard not to watch as he walked out of her apartment. No it would have been simpler if he had just walked out of her apartment. She calmly shook her head as her mind flashed on how she had just stood there like a paralyzed fool as Bill graciously walked out of her life. Was it her fault that she couldn't run after him?