color coded [klance]

eleven

  music blared into keith's headphones, the wind whipping his black hair out of his eyes. he stared at the black water churning below him, biting his lip as a shiver racked through him. winter was approaching, so the temperature had begun to drop, conveniently matching keith's mood.

it had been a few weeks since new year's, and keith hadn't gotten any better. if anything, he'd gotten worse, and lance had yet to notice, but that was only because keith lied every time lance asked for his color.

lance.

keith inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, remembering the first time lance came over to comfort him, when keith had the bottle of pills in his hand, and his mind flashed to lance.

"i'm worthless and the world would be so much better without me here."

"my world wouldn't"

-

"i-i can't live without you, keith. i promised you i would never leave, now you have to do the same."

-

"i deserve you just like you deserve me and you deserve to be happy and you make me happy."

-

keith sighed and opened his eyes, staring at the churning water under he bridge. he was supposed to go to a therapist tomorrow, to get better, to find out what was wrong, but something in him screamed no. it wasn't worth the money, the time, if he was just going to kill himself in the end.

lance would have been coming over to keith's house right about now. he would realize keith wasn't there. keith quickly dialed lance's number and drew his phone to his ear.

"hello?" lance asked in a chirpy voice.

"hey," keith said, blinking the tears out of his eyes. "are you busy?"

"i'm about to be at your house," lance informed. "why?"

"can we talk for a second?"

"i'm about to be there, keith-"

"lance, i love you," keith whispered, his voice failing him as tears fell down his cheeks. "more than you'll ever know."

"i love you too."

"but eventually, i'm not going to be here," keith murmured, wiping his tears away.

"what do you mean?"

"tell shiro i'm sorry about new year's. tell pidge and hunk i'm sorry i never told them that i appreciate their friendship and that i love them as well."

"why don't you tell them?"

"tell my adoptive mother than i'm sorry i couldn't be the perfect son."

"keith-"

"and lance...i'm sorry i wasted your time."

"keith, stop whatever you're doing-"

"i'm a fuckup, a worthless piece of shit. i hurt everyone around me. i don't deserve to be here."

"stop talking like that. where are you?"

"find someone better, lance. this is it for me, okay? just...forget about me. don't even have a funeral. i don't deserve one."

"keith, where the hell are you?"

"i love you," keith choked out, his voice cracking.

"where are y-"

"say it back," keith whispered.

"where-"

"say it back, lance."

"i love you. so much. you're my everything, keith. you're my world, my sun, my moon, my stars. you're the love of my life. please, just...stop and think about what you're doing."

"i know exactly what i'm doing."

"tell me where you are."

"it doesn't matter."

"i see you."