Ok so I thought I should explain why I don't have a phone. I'm about to be effing 15 in about two months and I haven't had my phone since last year in march. So yeah it's been a while. So lets start from the top.
When I was about 11 1/2 my parents gave me my first smart phone. It was on of the awesomest things that ever happend cause you know I was young and I thought I was finally an adult cause I had a smart phone. Anyway, I am my parents first child and they honestly didn't know what to do with me growing up. They didn't know what kind of young adult I would be or what I would think of the world or how I would react to it. They were clueless they wanted to fill my needs as a young girl and give me some kind of access to the outside world. Anyway, after about a year I was pretty weird and awkward on social media. I post stuff about my favorite books and movies and characters from ages ago on instagram, Follow my old account (Erudite_booknerd) I think it was called. I was just an overly obsessed kid. Anyway, recently last year I created a new account called (Greenhairedkitten) It was my band account I was obsessed with 5sos and I just went all out for them. It was like a fan page, I'm telling you I have a personality of a white girl it's so weird.Anyway, around the time I made the (Greenhairedkitten) account I was dating this girl and I was just all over the place with my life. I was vulnerable and I let people use me for comfort and shit cause I'm really nice and I wanna make everyone happy even if it means hurting myself, which over the months without my phone I learned not to let people control me and get under my skin and crap. I was just a really weak girl bad then. And my parents saw that it was hurting me, not only did it introduce me to sex at an early age and homosexuality and bullying, I was just really vulnerable and I let it all get to my head and my parents sat down with me and said no more cause its hurting you even though you don't realize it. Just lets take a break for now. Anyway, as a teenager I wasn't gonna be like "Sure mom and dad! Take away my only life outside of this house go ahead. I didn't like it anyway." Hell no, I rebelled against them up until June. Honestly, I am so good at breaking the rules I just got caught all of the time. Anyway, I started feeling bad so I told my parents that I didn't want to be untrustworthy and going behind their back anymore, I told them I wanted my phone back so I would stop being a baby and just accept change. So I did, and I have even up until now. I haven't gone behind their back, I haven't rebelled or anything. The only thing that I hold on to and will never let go, is the fact that I'm queer. My parents are not big fans of the LGBTQ community and I totally understand that. But I also had a shit ton of conversations where I sit down with them and tell them stuff along the lines of, "I get it, I don't expect you to be okay with homosexuality but I'm queer, not gay not Bi not lesbian but queer. And I want you to respect it, you don't have to be okay with it but at least respect me." And honestly, things have gotten better around here. I wont let go of that. No matter what, if it stops me from getting my phone back I still wont let it go. I will wait till I'm sixteen to buy my own phone and pay my own bills if it comes down to that, though I highly doubt it will cause my parents get that I'm not gonna let it go. Anyway, sorry for the annoying rant. I just thought that maybe you guys were curious to why I'm so fucking abnormal for not having a phone. It so weird cause when people be like "Oh my gosh Private your so cool, give me your number so we can text or call or something." And I'm just like, "I actually don't have a phone, but I can call off of the house phone." And then their like, "You don't have a phone! Your parents must be so over protective...Well nice meeting you." Then I'm like, "We can still be friends." And their like "......." So yeah, my life in a nutshell.
-Lirah N.Y
(I didn't proof read this so sorry if there are any mistakes)
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Thoughts of a teenage girl | Story of Lirah
Teen Fiction"They say:Be true to yourself and nothing will go wrong, but sometimes I wonder, how can you be true to yourself when you don't even know who you are anymore"
