Before I start this, I just wanted to point out that I'm not better or worse than anyone else, we all have our imperfections.
I have a friend who recently told me that she wanted to be famous or perfect or something like that only because everyone else was famous or perfect. And I told her that I'm not perfect or famous. And she said to me, "Yes you are, everyone loves you. You're so likable and you make friends easily. And you're an amazing writer. I want something like that." I began naming all of these things she can and could do. I told her to never limit herself and that she sometimes has to step out of her comfort zone to accomplish things. But she kept brushing me off as if she didn't want my help. And what she doesn't realize is that I am far from perfect. I'm self- diagnosed with multiple mental disorders, I can't make friends unless I'm forced to. I am very likable and nice or whatever but that's exactly why people use me, because I'm weak and nice to everyone. They use me and take advantage of me. I didn't say this to her because I just didn't know how she would react to this.
The whole point of this chapter is to let people know, that everyone isn't always what they put on display. It's more of what's in the inside and you'll never truly know someone unless they open up to you. Maybe that one guy who walks you home from school everyday, he may be smiling and laughing and pulling corny jokes just to see you laugh, but he could be hurting inside. He could have abusive parents, he could be abusing himself. Nobody knows, because he may or may not have trust issues. He's putting off the impression that he's a happy normal guy but in the inside he's dying.
Or take me for example, I smile and laugh and joke and dance, I get good grades, I love people, I care,I have friends, I've got a fluffy personality, I can make people laugh and smile, I am likable, I'm Lirah. But...There's a story behind all of that. I smile and laugh only because I'm wearing mask that hides my pain. And even sometimes I can't do that because I'm weak. I love people because I know what it feels like to not be loved, I'm likable because I just am but people use me because of it all of the time. Lastly, I'm Lirah for reasons I don't even know. But at times, I hate the person I am because I'm weak. I let people use me because I want them to be happy. I once read a quote that said, "You can't just stand there and put everyone's life ahead of yours and think that counts as love" But in a way I disagree with that, if someone who is hurting and desperate for help, someone who hates themselves is willing to stand up and defend someone else from getting hurt and hurting themselves in the process that can possibly count as love. Because it takes a strong ass person to do that for someone.
Anyway nobody is really ever what they seem. And you can't say you're nothing, or that you can't be like everyone else, you just can't act like your nothing. Because you are something, everyone is something. There are people out in the world who hate themselves because of their looks or because of their fame or because of past experiences, or because their just afraid of life. Some people go through fucked up shit but some people are just sitting around crying because they can't be like "everyone else". And that really hurts me, when people tell me how perfect and amazing I am when they don't even know what I've been through. Though I put off the expression of happiness and perfectness I guess you could say, that doesn't mean that's what I am. Some people don't have both of their parents around to protect them, some people have mental and physical problems, some people are mentally scared some people are physically scared. And some people just don't have someone around to just be there for them, to just talk to them and that really sucks. So please, stop assuming that you're the worst person on the planet. Please don't think that you have nothing to be thankful for. Be thankful that you alive and if you are suicidal, be thankful that you lived another day, know that the bad comes before the good, you just have to be patient and strong.♥ Everyone has something, so people just can't say that everyone else is perfect because their not. You're not perfect, nobody is.
I guess I can't really explain it. But I just wanted to rant about this for a while. It most likely made zero since whatsoever but still, I feel like it was worth it and it needed to be said. I am going to end this with a quote.
"You don't need a mirror to know you look good. You're beautiful on the inside. Like....You're brain and stuff."- Finn, Adventure time
-Lirah (N.Y)
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Thoughts of a teenage girl | Story of Lirah
Teen Fiction"They say:Be true to yourself and nothing will go wrong, but sometimes I wonder, how can you be true to yourself when you don't even know who you are anymore"
