Thoughts of a teenage girl | Story of Lirah

10:J

Must be positive...Must think positive!!!! I must push the unhappy thoughts deep down where I'll never ever ever ever EVER find them... 10 Points if you know where I got that that from. I'm actually a little out of it today, but positivity is key you know? So lets talk about some good things. I have enough for my license plate now, thanks to my Pengy and a butt load of hard work. I can start saving up for my Xbox one now. Ha! Fun fact, my dad took his PlayStation upstairs to his room so nobody can mess up his games. Which I don't blame him for. Still Now I can't live-stream or play any video games. It kind of sucks now. Cause now, my brother has a PlayStation in his room and my dad has a PlayStation in his room and now there is only cable down here and nobody really wants to share. So yeah it's totally worth it saving up for all this big stuff. I'm sure it wont take long for me to get enough money for an Xbox one if I saved about $60 in under a month. If I get money in at that rate I should have enough for it by my birthday. Which is a special day, cause I was born (not) and I have a 55.5% chance of getting my phone back. Not that I really have anything to do with it, still at least I wont be that lame ass kid without a phone anymore. Also, My bestfriendthatIwishwasmyboyfriend actually participated in class today! I'm so proud of him! Round of applause for him. I start driviers training in less than two weeks so that's cool I guess. I'm also going mute, that's not really a good thing nor is it a bad thing. I just think that it's something that needs to be addressed. I think it'll give me some time to think things through and not have to say stuff out loud and ruin everything for everyone else. You know? It doesn't really make sense but I really want to try it. I'll use sign language if I really have to say something even though nobody will understand me but I have to try. Going mute is something that I wanted to try for a long time now, and I finally have the guts to do it. I'll only talk to certain people. 

You know, being in love will make you do crazy ass shit. Honestly, like this is me everyday. 

one:Somebody says something related to video games

Me:Oh my gosh Christian loves video games!

two: Somebody mentions something about the Lego movie

Me:Oh my gosh yasss Me and Christian love that movie!

three: Somebody says something not even relating to Christian

Me:Christian!

Four:Someone says something that sounds like his name

Me:Christian what about him? I know everythin!

Seriously everyone looks at me like I'm stupid. And like I'm listening to stupid loves songs like their my life. And legit all I can think about while listening to these songs is me and him making out or cuddling or playing at the park. It is so cheesy. And then I'm having these dreams that are just ugh! I can't even explain. Lets just say that 67% of the time these dreams are very explainablely erotic. But sometimes their just like my day dreams, where either me and him are going grocery shopping together, or going to the mall, or playing lazertag. I don't know. I think I have an obsession.  I'm not even ashamed. Another thing, he sent me a letter a while ago and I love it so much. It has a designated spot on my bookshelf. Anyway, It smells like ChristianHeaven! Like oh my gosh, never would I imagine him to smell so godly. But I try not to touch it to much cause I want the smell to remain forever. I'm telling you, love is just so nvjdnjngertegrjr You know what I mean???

-Lirah (Naomi Yoshida)

Note: I have a headache

Note again: I think I'm going to take a nap

Another note sorry: If your going through a tough time in your life just know, that god never puts anything on you that you can't bare. You'll get past it in time and patience. Listen to this song called Asleep by the smiths. It's one of my favorites. I believe you are strong who ever you may and be where ever you may be.♥