Brutal Love

Chapter 36

I turned around and Billie was sitting on the window sill. I wanted to cry. I wanted him to hold me but at the same time I wanted to push him out the window.

"Billie, please don't." I said, sliding along the door and sitting on the floor, letting my face fall in my hands. I heard a sigh, then the window close and shuffling noises and then I felt his arm wrap around me.

"It's ok. I'm here. I won't say anything. I heard the whole thing." He whispered, positioning himself next to me. I leaned into him.

"I thought he was my best friend. Why is he being like this?"

"Because he doesn't understand what it's like. I look at him and I see a happy kid who's never had to deal with anything sad or heartbreaking." He kissed the top of his head. "Am I right?" I nodded. "There you go. Now listen, you don't need friends like that when you have friends like me. Or Tre. Or Mike."

"I know. It's just...we've been friends since forever. How can I just turn my back on him?"

"Same way he's been doing it the past 4 years. He'll go home tomorrow and then just don't talk to him. Make him realize what an ass he was and wallow in his self-guilt. And I got you babe. You're my Minnie too Mickey."

I touched my necklace that he gave me. I took it out from under my shirt and looked at it. Then I looked up at him and he was holding out his. He was smiling at me. I smiled back. Then he stood up.

"Come on." He held out his hand to help me up. I took it and he pulled me into a hug. "It's been the best five days of my life with you."

"I love you Billie." He kissed the top of my head then pulled out of the hug. And walked over to my door, locking it. "What are you doing?"

"Well, Tre knew I was here last time so he wasn't too shocked. He doesn't know I'm here now so it's just a precaution." He answered, walking over to my bed while kicking off his shoes and his shirt. As he crawled in bed, I watched his muscular torso move. And I traced his tattoos with my eyes wondering what each one meant and why he got it. "You just going to stare or are you going to join me?" He chuckled and I felt my face burn up.

"Turn around, I'm going to get changed."

"Why? I've seen you in a bikini which is the same thing as your underwear. Which is why I won't be needing these." And he threw his pants I didn't know he took off on the floor. "Boxers are the same as swimming trunks."

"Not really. Just roll over and stare out the window or something." He chuckled and rolled over. I waited a second before I switched from my clothes to my Winnie the Pooh onsie.

"You know, stars are so beautiful in Oakland." He said as I was changing.

"I know you are." I giggled.

"Aw, you think an old geyser like myself is beautiful? Thanks sweetheart, but that wasn't what I meant."

"I know. I agree with you. My dad and I used to go stargazing when I was younger. He would point out all the constellations." I giggled at the memory. "He used to call the little bear Winnie the Pooh, just for me." He rolled over and looked at me as I lifted the covers.

"I think that's the first time since I met you that you haven't gotten all choked up over speaking about your dad."

"I'm sorry, would you prefer me to be sad?" I put on a fake frown. He pulled me down on the bed and kissed me.

"I know it was a joke, but you still said 'sorry'."

"Somehow I knew you'd do that." He kissed me again. This kiss however was gentle and passionate and sent shivers down my spine. He noticed and pulled away.

"What's the matter? Are you cold?" He wrapped the covers over me and held me close.

"Yeah, a little." I lied. I wasn't actually cold. That kiss was just unlike anything else and it made me feel different. Good different. I can't explain it.

"Well come here, my dear. Let's fix that." And he pulled me even closer than before. I unburied my head in from his chest and looked up at him. "What?"

I didn't answer, I just reached up and kissed him. He scooted down, not breaking the kiss, to make everything more comfortable. Then he rolled over top of me, keeping himself up with his hand while his other hand was under my waist. I put my hands on his chest and felt his muscles. I felt his whole chest and around his shoulders until I finally rested my hands around his neck. I didn't want to stop and I knew he didn't want to either. His hand was massaging my back now and trying to unclasp my bra.

"Beej, no." I whispered into the kiss.

"Sorry." He said and we kept kissing, his hand back under my waist. Kissing. We were making out. Heavily.

He bent his elbow a little so he was closer to me, his chest touching my own, and then it got even more heated. He moaned into the kiss and was almost laying completely on top of me. Then I felt something on my thigh. I was hard and pressing into me. I sat straight up, pushing him off of me. I saw desire in his green eyes.

"Come on babe, don't stop now. Please." He said, making his way on top of me again. He managed to collide our lips for a second before I pushed him away again.

"No. I think it's time for sleep now." I answered, a little scared.

"Please, just a little bit longer?" He was begging now. He was slowly crawling back towards me. His eyes were no longer an emerald green but a dark green, they were full of lust. "You know you want it too. Please, for me?" His face was inches from mine again.

"Billie you're scaring me." My vision started to blur but I wouldn't let them fall. His devilish smile disappeared instantly and his green eyes were back to emerald green.

"Oh, Winnie, I'm sorry." And he threw his arms over me and buried his face in my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to scare you. Honey, I'm so sorry." I collapsed in his embrace. "Shh...shh...I'm sorry. He's gone. I'm here. Shh...shh...please don't cry. Fuck. I'm such an asshole. Please, I'm sorry." I pulled away and wiped my nose on my sleeve and I looked at him. He looked sad and scared. "Winnie, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok. You stopped, that's all that matters." I replied. I smiled at him and he smiled weakly back.

"It won't happen again, I promise." He pulled me pack in his arms and kissed the top of my head. "I love you and I don't ever want to hurt you." Surely he doesn't mean he loves me like that. Does he? "And when I say I love you, I mean I love you. Not like Tre does or your dad did. I love you the other way."

I wrapped my arms around him, completing the hug. "I love you too, Billie."