Start Again

California?

*Note: I'm so glad to be back to writing again and to continue on with Blair's story! The song playing in the music store is How Soon is Now by The Smiths. The song that Blair plays is The Ghost in You by The Psychedelic Furs off the album Mirror Moves. I hope you enjoy because I enjoyed writing about Billy and Blair again!*

There it was, my first billboard advertisement. And there I was. On a billboard in black lace lingerie and Billy's leather jacket. I was sitting backwards on a motorcycle with a bottle of men's cologne placed between my legs on the back of the motorcycle. This was the third billboard I had seen, it was also the biggest. The name of the cologne was Rebel and the company had reached out to me to be the model because of Rebel Yell, Billy's song that was growing in popularity. Billy was both proud and pissed off. He didn't want everyone seeing me spread out 'half naked' as he called it.

"I still don't like it" Billy said. His words were half muffled by the usual cigarette that loosely hung from his lips. "What else is new" I said and winked at him. Billy smiled as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Let's go eat" Billy suggested and pulled me along. I kept my eyes on the billboard until it was out of sight.

"I still can't believe it" I said and smiled to myself. "I still can't believe they would allow you to dress like that" Billy said as I rolled my eyes. I rested my head on his shoulder as we continued to walk down the street in silence. There was enough noise going on without us talking. As we walked past a music store the sight of Billy's face caught my attention.

"Billy! It's your record!' I yelled as I pulled on his arm. "Let's go in!" I excitedly shouted and pulled him through the door before he could protest. "No, Blair. Come on, I want to eat" Billy complained. I began weaving my way through stacks of records. I could've easily been lost in the store for hours.

"Just five minutes, please" I begged him as I pouted. Billy closed his eyes and let out a loud sigh. "Five minutes" Billy repeated as he opened his eyes. I quickly kissed his cheek before dashing off towards his record.

"But no more!" He warned as he pointed his finger at me. "I can't hear you. I'm too far away" I yelled over my shoulder before picking up the record and smiling. Billy wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his chin on my shoulder.

"Look at how handsome my boyfriend is on his record" I said as I beamed with pride. "You should see how stunning my girlfriend looks on her billboard outside" Billy replied before he kissed my cheek. I turned around in his arms and grinned up at him. "I'm gonna buy it" I said making Billy sigh.

"No, I don't want that thing in our home" He said as he placed his hands on my hips. "That thing is the album you made and I want to buy it" I said as I scowled up at Billy. "It'll make me seem vain" Billy complained. I let out a loud laugh. Billy Idol worried about seeming vain? Ha! That was new.

"Yeah, like that's ever stopped you in the past" I said still giggling. Now it was Billy's turn to scowl at me. "Come on. My five minutes is almost up and I still have to pay for this" I said as I wiggled out of Billy's arms. I began walking to the register to pay before what sounded like sirens coming from speakers caught my attention. I placed Billy's album on the counter as the singing in the song started.

"Who is this?" I asked the man at the register. "A band from England called The Smiths" The man replied as he reached behind himself and grabbed the empty record sleeve before he handed it to me.

"The Smiths" I repeated. "Can I take this?" I asked the man. He plucked the empty sleeve from my hand and replaced it with two new albums. "That's the first one and the new one" He said as I turned them over in my hand. "Do you have any Psychedelic Furs albums?" I asked and placed the records down.

"I still say that was less than five minutes" I quietly mumbled. I gently placed the needle of the record player onto the album before walking away. I sat down on our bed as the sound of Richard Butler's raspy voice sent chills down my spine.

"What was that?" Billy asked as he carelessly plopped down on the bed. I quickly reached out and caught an armful of records as they flew in the air. I glared at Billy as I placed the records back on the bed.

"What?" He asked as he gave me an innocent smile. "You're very careless you know" I angrily said.

"I need to talk to you about something" Billy said as he placed his hand on my thigh. "Go ahead" I said and nodded. A million thoughts ran through my head. It could only be bad news, right? Billy sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Can we turn that off?" Billy complained. I took a deep breath before slowly walking over to the record player. I gently pulled the needle up, silencing the record. "Come sit" Billy quietly commanded. I returned to my spot on the bed and nervously looked down at the sheets.

"Blair" He started. I gulped as my heart began racing. "I want us to move to California" Billy said. It was worse than I imagine. California.....the state where all 18 horrible years of my adolescence was spent. The state where The Sex Pistols had broken up, where Johnny had slapped me across the face, where I attempted to throw a glass at his head because I wanted him dead. The state where all the bad events in my life seemed to take place. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out, my lips quivered as I tried to put words together. My stomach lurched.

"I think I'm gonna be sick" I said as I sprang to my feet and ran for the bathroom. Being in America again was bad enough, but now moving to California? It all seemed like a joke or a horrible nightmare of mine playing out in real life.