Toxic Love

Do I or dont I

Throwing myself down on the bed, I checked my phone. Wow 4 missed calls. A text from Carly, mum and jake aka number one. Ergh I'll sort through that lot tomorrow. I mean later, seeing as it's already past midnight. I'm starting to get a stress headache. Maybe I should have a quick shower, to try and clear it. Making my mind up, I walk over to my drawers and look for my pj drawer. Grabbing the ones on top I head into the bathroom.

I switch the shower on. Place my pjs by my sink. Making sure there's towels for me in the under sink cupboard,
I open the glass door to my shower. I turn the temperature up and let the scolding water soothe my stressed out state. I finish off in the shower and get out. Drying myself off, I put on my pjs.

I brush my damp hair to get the knots out. After finishing cleaning my teeth I switch the bathroom light off. I head over to my bed and climb in. I've got so much to think about but for now I let sleep takeover. It can wait for tomorrow.

Waking up the next day, I do my usual morning routine of laying in bed and looking through my phone. Checking yesterdays text, I open the 1 from Carly -hey chick, you there???? Tried to ring, I need to talk to you Em, call me back when you're up. Peace out! Love ya xxxxxx. I send her a quick reply -Carly chill ur beans, I'll call u in a bit. Love ya more xxxxxx.

Next text mum -I'm heading to bed Em. Dad had to pop out so don't worry about locking up. If your even planning on coming home?! Love mum xxxxxx. Whoops I didn't even take keys, let alone consider locking up. Nice save dad I think to myself. Well I don't need to reply to that one. Last text from Jake -like that now is it number one, no text back. Rude!! Shit Em something happened, you need to call me or Carly. Love you, your always be my number one xxxxxx. Well somethings got Carly and Jake's pants in a twist. I should definitely call Carly in a bit.

Time for a quick scroll through Facebook, 10 new friends requests!! Looking at the names I see it's the guys I met yesterday, I smile to myself. I click on Chris's profile. I haven't acknowledged his request yet but I'm in full blown stalker mode going through his pictures. I see 1 of the pictures is a group one of them all together, with a awkward "squad goals" hashtag under it. I laugh out loud to myself, I can't help it. This lot make me laugh, they're all pulling faces or mucking about. Levi even has Nate in a headlock, although their both still laughing.

I sigh. I should get up, putting my phone back on the bedside table I get in the shower again. After getting dressed and blow drying my hair, I put a little bit of make up on and my hair up in a messy bun. Grabbing my phone and fags I go down to the kitchen. My mums in there with Joe. Walking over to joe I kiss the top of his head and steal one of his marmite on toast slices. "Emmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaa" he screams. I laugh at him and sit down next to him.

"Morning Emma, nice to see you found your way home. I mean I thought it would take at least a week before you started treating this place like a hotel. This was meant to be a new start, where we get out daughter back. Not you being out all night drinking, smoking and doing god only knows what else. We're not doing that again" mum ranted at me.

I look up at my mum in disbelief, was she really starting on me already. Why wasn't she happy I had made friends and was enjoying myself. I wasn't a bad person so why was she shouting at me as soon as I got downstairs? "Really mum... Shouldn't you be happy I've made friends. I'm enjoying myself mum. Why do you hate me?" I yelled back.

"No Emma, I mean it. Things will change and there's going to be rules. If you don't obey them then you will get punished. We don't hate you but me and your dad can see that your making choices that we don't want for you. That's going to stop all the time your living under our roof" She shouts back.