Brave || Zerrie AU

Pity

"How long do you plan on staying in the states?" I can Harry as we make our way back to Trisha's house to pick up Jade. The street lights shine down on us in this chilling fall night. But for the first time in a long time I feel a warmth inside me. Finally letting everything I feel out has helped me so much and knowing Harry was the one person I trusted more than anything made it better.

"I'm not sure yet. I want to stay here a while though." He smiles at me as we make the turn down the familiar street to Trisha's house. Seeing her house makes my stomach turn. I want to get Jade and then leave. My feet feel heavy with every step I take and I stop when we get to the front gate.

I turn to Harry and I find him already staring at me. " I'll go get Jade. You stay here." He says as if reading my mind.

"Thank you." I whisper and take a seat on the steps near the front door.

I go through my phone and reply to some messages. Gosh, I was so bad at responding to people. No wonder they leave me on read.

"Perrie?" A husky voice says from behind me. I turn in the direction of the voice and my heart stops.

"Zayn." My mouth becomes dry as I struggle to find the words to talk.

His hazel eyes connect with mine and stay like that for a good moment. I'm the first to break contact as I try to look at anything but him. I turn around, suddenly finding my phone a lot more interesting.

"I know you hate me." Zayn suddenly appears next to me and I stare at him.

What is he doing?

His face hasn't changed much since I actually had a good look at it. The beard did get longer though and it make him look so much hotter. His eyes show a light that I haven't seen in so long.

He's doing fine. He's happy.

"Perrie?" He ask me and I realize in that moment that I've been staring at him longer than I would've liked. I snap out of my phase when I feel his warm hand reaching for mine. Out of instinct I snatch it away and look at him. A look of pain crosses his face but he tries to hide it.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I get up. My blood begins to boil and I want to leave right now. What's taking Harry so long?

Zayn continues to stare at me as he gets up as well. "I know you hate me, Perrie."

I don't try to cover my anger as I say, "Yeah, I do actually. I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, honestly. I wasn't trying to hurt you. You know I love you."

Love?

"You call what you feel for me 'love'? "I snap at him without meaning to.

His eyes widen in shock. He clearly wasn't expecting that to be my response . "Perrie-"

"No Zayn, what you feel for me isn't love. In fact, it's the furthest thing from love! You don't purposely hurt someone if you love them! You care for them and only want what's best for them. You don't break up with them over a stupid text message! You don't leave them wondering what they did wrong because you never gave them an explanation as to why you broke their heart." I don't realize I'm crying until I feel the wet tear touching my lip.

I instantly wipe it away and curse myself for crying in front of him.

"You hurt me first Perrie." Zayn's voice comes out in a low whisper as he sits down on the steps again. He hides his face and when he looks up I can see tears streaming down his face.

It makes my heart break seeing him cry but I don't let him see that. So instead I cross my arms over my chest. "How?"

"You fell in love with my best friend!" He shouts. I jump in surprise at his sudden words.

"What?"I ask in complete shock.

He sighs. "What you told me about Paris. You broke my heart Perrie."

"I didn't break your heart that night Zayn. I broke Harry's! So do me a favor and get over yourself." The words come out harsher than I want them to but I stand by them.

Hurt flashes in his eyes and he doesn't try to hide it. "Then why'd you go with him? Why'd you leave me for him?"

"I never left you Zayn. I went because my best friend needed me, okay?"

"I needed you too, Pez." Hearing my nickname coming from his lips made my heart turn upside down.

"Paris was the reason you broke up with me?" I ask him, trying to understand all of this.

"No. I don't know." It seems like his answer was more to convince himself rather than me.

"In Paris I picked you, Zayn. I broke my best friend's heart because of you. Everything that happened on that trip was because of you. But looking at it now its clear to me that I made the wrong choice that night."

The tears in his eyes seem to increase and I want nothing more than to hug him. But I won't. I can't.

"So Zayn, for whatever reason you broke up with me it's done. You destroyed me as a person for something you only know a part of. Don't worry though,"

Harry emerges from the dark night and walks over to me. When his eyes land on Zayn he picks up his speed.

"I'm getting better. I have exactly who I need in my life."

With one last look at him I see him broken before me. But it's my turn to be selfish.

"Goodbye, Zayn."