From Very Real Pranks to Something Like Love

Loud Farts and Exploding Soda

Other than Ian, we were the first ones to arrive at the restaurant. I was draped in a sparkling silver mini dress with heels to match, my hair was curled to perfection, and I had on the make-up of a movie star thanks to Lizzie. 

And then, my eyes found Ian's. He stood up from his seat when he saw me, revealing his freshly-ironed suit that only seemed to make him ten times more attractive. His lips turned up at the corners to form a quiet smirk as he pulled out the chair next to him, which I gratefully accepted. 

My parents sat across from us, and as they ordered wine for the table, I leaned in close to Ian. 

"Careful tonight," I whispered in his ear before pulling away. He raised his eyebrows in question and opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut-off when Chase and Denise strolled in arm-in-arm, their parents trailing behind as they chatted about something about as interesting as the weather. 

"Oh, why hello Chase. Don't you look dapper! I'm so glad to see you're feeling better!" I exclaimed, greeting Chase with the fakest smile that has ever existed in the world. He glared at me, so I turned to Denise. 

"Hi Barbie! Nice eyelashes, where did you get them?" I asked innocently. I saw her hands curl into fists and felt Ian's body shaking next to me as he held in his laughter. 

"Kids, aren't you going to sit?" My mom asked Denise and Chase. Their parents had already sat down, meaning there were only three empty chairs that just happened to be between me and my father. I smiled at Denise and sweetly patted the seat next to me, but she rolled her eyes and sat in the one next to my father. 

The moment her perky little butt touched the cushioned chair, a large fart erupted from beneath her, silencing the entire restaurant and causing her to shriek. I smothered my laugh with my hand and stared at the ground, my body trembling with laughter. I felt Ian lightly kick my leg under the table and I glanced up, seeing that all eyes were turned to me and looked incredibly pissed off.

"What?! Farts are funny!" I exclaimed, erupting in laughter again. A chuckle escaped Ian's lips and he ducked his head when all of the mother's at the table glared at him.

"Penny," my mom said, her tone a warning. I immediately stopped laughing and replaced my smile with a somber expression. 

"You're right mom," I said, and then turned to Denise and stared at her directly in the eye, her lethal glare having no effect on my cool demeanor. "Pardon you, Denise," I stated, and then turned back to the table and folded my hands in my lap as if nothing had ever happened. 

Realizing that I wasn't going to apologize, my mom gave up and attempted to reel the adults back into the conversation as Denise reached under her seat and yanked the whoopee cushion out angrily, tossing it on the floor at her feet. 

"Bitch," she mumbled under her breath. My eyes flashed up to hers and, had I been any normal mortal, her deadly gaze would have vaporized me on the spot. But instead, I gave her a sickly sweet smile before turning my attention back to Ian. 

"Really? That's the prank level of a first-grader," Ian murmured in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I leaned into him so that my lips were practically kissing his ears, and I felt his arm tense next to me. 

"Oh, we've only just begun."

~~~~~~~~~~

When the waiter arrived with the adult's wine, I glanced up at him and winked slyly. Robbie gave me a curt nod that was nearly undetectable, but it was enough for me to notice. He was dressed in the standard uniform: black dress trousers, a button up white shirt, a black bow-tie, and a black waist apron.