Chapter 24

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by envy-malice

by envy-malice

Me and Nicole were having lunch at Taco Bell and it was about 12:15 now. I was having a surprisingly good time. We talked about interests and we liked most of the same music and most of the same things. I hadn't told her about YouTube yet, so I decided to bring it up.

"So do you watch YouTubers?" I asked taking a bite of my taco.

"Yeah, sometimes beauty gurus but that's it." She said. I looked down sadly, maybe she wouldn't like me if I told her I did YouTube. "Oh! and Shane Dawson he's hilarious!! I think it'd be cool to know a youtuber." She said sipping her Baja blast. Taylor used to love thoes....

"I'm a youtuber." I said without thinking. Oh god what did I just do.

"Really?? That's really cool!" she smiled.

"Yeah, I just hit a million subscribers a few months ago."

"Oh wow." She seemed shocked. "Maybe we could do a video together!"

I laughed. "What kind of video??"

"I don't know your the youtuber here!" She giggled and smiled.

I smiled back at her. "You have a really pretty smile."

She blushed and smiled really big. "Thanks!"

Time passed and we finished eating. We decided to drive to the park and just sit around and talk. We sat on the grass under a huge tree.

I pulled out my phone. "I think this moment deserves a selfie." I said swiping up on my lock screen, opening the camera. "Make a cute face." I smiled and she stuck her tongue out. I reviewed the selfie. I laughed at her face, "wow that's a REALLY cute face."

She laughed back. "That's was I was going for!"

I opened it up in Instagram. "What's your username so I can tag you?"

"It's @NicoleMontgomery." She said as she picked at the grass.

I posted it. @connorfranta : park with this weirdo 😋 @nicolemontgomery

I saw her pick up her phone and look at Instagram. She smiled at the picture "I'm so cure aren't I." she laughed.

It began to get dark and soon enough we were one of the only people in the park. It also got really windy.

"Damn, I really wish id brought a heavier jacket." She said shivering, sitting next to me. I put my arm around her to try to make her warm.

"Same. California is not supposed to be this windy & cold!!!" I said a little loud.

She giggled. "You're really funny, and cute, and perfect." I saw her eyes meet mine.

I wanted to kiss her soo bad. But I didn't want to lose her like I lost Taylor. But my body got ahead of my emotions and kissed her. It felt so right, but felt so wrong.

I pulled away instantly. "I-I'm sorry." I looked down. "Me and my girlfriend kind of just....broke up and I'm trying not to get too emotionally invested in anyone at the moment."

"No..its totally fine. I know what you mean." She sighed. We sat there for a few more minutes until I wanted to go home. I dropped her off at her house and then drove back to my house.

This night was just....ughhhh. I miss Taylor. I just wish she hadn't died and everything would be okay. We would be getting married and having the best time of our lives. But no.....me being the stupid person I am, decided to be a dick and make her get hit by a car.

I try to not think about that night, but I just can't. It changed my life forever. Thinking about her and that incident makes me so sad and mad and depressed and just a mix Of emotions..i can't handle it anymore.

I finally stopped thinking about Taylor and watched netflix until I fell asleep at about 1am.