My Everything (sequel to Secret) //EDITING//

Eight

{edited}

Harry POV {college}

I thought I would never have to see her again.

I thought since that night I wouldn't have to be reminded of her.

But, my luck she lives in the same apartment building as me.

My hands grip the side of my sink until my knuckle are white. My insides are on fire and my eyes are burning.

I hate that when I saw May that day I can't stop thinking about her. I hate that when I looked at her all I wanted to do was to wrap my arms around her. I hate that when I looked at her I got reminded of that night and what she did to me.

I fucking hate that everyday since then I can't stop imagining her in my head. The way her lips look so goddamn kissable, and her blue sparkly eyes making my insides weak.

But, she doesn't love me.

I doubt she ever did.

***

I ride the elevator the following morning half asleep. My eyes are threatening to close every moment.

The doors open and my heart sinks. I stiffen and look away from May and Adam who just enter the elevator. It seems like now I can't breath.

Awkward silence fills the small space. I grip the railings with everything in me so I don't break.

I feel like today the elevator is going really slow. My eyes look at May. Her back is facing me. Her hair is up to her shoulders now. She's still wearing her typical sweater and jeans. I see her eyes look down at her feet. Adam glances over his shoulder and looks at me. He just smiles a 'hello'.

At this point I can't even do that.

At this point I find there is no purpose to even be kind to anyone.

May POV {high school}

I wish I could say since that weekend at Harry's apartment, it's been better between us.

But it hasn't.

It's actually been worse.

And I can't do it anymore.

The only thing keeping us together are empty promises. It seems as that both of us are drained from the driving to see each other. Drained from the long distance; drained from the stress of trying to make it work.

I see him becoming someone who I don't even know. He has his new life up there and I don't fit in. And of right now, I don't want to try.

My home life is complete shit and I feel worse about myself than I ever have. It's hard to pull myself out of bed sometimes knowing that in school I still get bullied and the only person to distract me is hours away.

We still go weeks without talking.

We still always find a way to make excuses for it.

But, I can't break up with him. I can't leave him, I know when I see him in person I'll back out and just enjoy the time we have, because overall I still love him. And I still want him.

I just have to make him hate me.

And the only way how is to break is heart. I know if I just end things saying the long distance is too much, he'll fight and try harder. But I don't want him to fight for us.

I just don't know how yet to end us. I hate thinking about it, but I need to do it.

Currently Adam's new boyfriend Justin, is over my house. He's a junior and needs help in Chemistry.

I offered to help, considering the tutoring program at school has a huge waiting list.

"Thanks again May." Justin says while opening the front door. He slides on his coat and runs his hand through his messy light brown hair. I fix my tank top and shorts. I look like a complete mess but luckily Justin didn't care.

I hold onto the door knob from the inside and look to see Harry at the door.

His eyes burn on Justin. Then me.

Adam's boyfriend leaves and Harry stares at me. "Who's that?" His voice is deep. "Why are you wearing a low fucking tank top with those shorts?" I remain quiet.

Fuck this looks bad. I feel like shit, but I need to go with it.

I didn't even know Harry was in town.

I might as well let him hate me now. I know if I don't lie now and say I cheated, I won't ever break up with him. I pull my hair into a messy bun and take a deep breath.

"May." Harry's voice lowers. "Please don't tell me that's a hickey." No, I burned myself with a curling iron yesterday; I just bite my lip and force a nod.

It's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best. Lying and saying I cheated is for the best. Him moving on is for the best.

I repeat this in my mind.

"So, you've been," Harry pauses and clears his throat. "Cheating on me?"

"I'm sorry." I manage to say.

His eyes turn red and his mouth opens then closes.

I already regret this.

I already hate myself.

"Me loving you wasn't enough?" Harry's eyes meet mine and I look away. "If this is a joke, this isn't funny."

"I'm not joking." I swallow the lump in my throat. I look back to him and see his jaw is tense.

"Why did you do it?"

"I w-was lonely." I lie. My heart is breaking just as much as his. You wanted this May stop acting like you're the victim.

"Lonely?" Harry spits. "So you fuck some other guy to fill that void?" I bite my lip harshly. "I wish I never fucking started talking to you. No, I actually wish I acted on that bet so you would be the broken one, you fucking bitch." My eyes are burning.

"I should've known no one would ever love me. I should've fucking known that you're just like every other girl I've met." I see tears streaming out of his eyes officially making me dead in the inside. His voice is shaky and his lower lip is trembling. I look down at his hands and see they're shaking as well.

Harry's face is covered with tears that I wanted to wipe away so badly. I've never seen him cry like this. I've seen one or two tears leave his eyes a few times when we're in an argument and he doesn't want me to leave.

But this. This is something that I never wanted to see, ever.

"I'm sorry." It comes out as a whisper. I'm saying sorry for ending us like this; For lying. Not for "cheating". I only know what I'm saying sorry for.

"Sorry?" Harry scoffs. "You're sorry? Go fucking suck his dick you cunt."

Harry walks off my porch and I feel as if I black out after that.

A://N

now, the book will be leading up to present time.

thoughts?

i wrote this chapter 3 times and can't seem to get it the way i want. it could be the fact that my heart broke writing harry sad during this chapter.

how many wish she was pregnant instead lol

~lauren