My Everything (sequel to Secret) //EDITING//

Thirty Five

{edited}

I'm just gonna answer this in here bc most of you guys forgot

Lily is Harry's ex gf that died of cancer. If it still doesn't ring a bell read the beginning chapters of Secret lol

35

May POV

It's Thursday night.

Or technically morning

It's three a.m and I woke up...again.

I'm only four months pregnant and this kid is already waking me up. I drop my hands off my bump and huff. He or she begins to move again so I put my hands back on where it's moving. And it stops again.

He or she can feel me? My eyes well up and I smile.

I look to Harry who's peacefully sleeping. His head is on my pillow and he's nearly touching me. I look at him as he sleeps and take a deep breath.

Lately he's been sleep talking about Lily. I want to ask him if he's okay but I feel like he'll get mad.

"I want you back." Harry mutters in his sleep. My head tilts.

Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, Harry will still pick her over my any day. It's sad to admit to myself, but it's true. I know he misses her and still loves her. And I can't be mad at him because of that.

His final sentence is "I miss you." My heart aches and I lay back down. I stare up at the ceiling and huff tiredly. I'm glad I don't have school tomorrow.

~

I didn't sleep really. I kept waking up to pee or just because I wasn't comfortable.

I get out of bed around eight after watching some TV and head to the kitchen where I see Harry. He's typing on his phone. His eyebrows furrowed. "Hey." I offer.

"Hello." Harry locks his phone and puts it on the counter. "Can I get you anything?"

"No." I say. All I want is a really good nap but the baby likes to keep me awake.

"Let me know if I can." His hand runs through his hair.

"Do you still think about Lily?" I ask curiously. His face changes and his lips rest on a straight line.

"No, why?"

"You've been talking in your sleep about her." I admit. My voice soft.

"That's odd." He grabs his phone and walks away. I follow, my eyebrows furrow.

"That's it? You don't want to talk about it?"

"I didn't even know I did talk about her in my sleep." Harry says. "What else do you want me to say May?"

"I don't know." I mumble. "I just don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me about her."

"There isn't anything to talk about." His voice dismissive.

"But-"

"May, drop it. Okay I said somethings in my sleep. It's not a big deal, let it go. She died, and that's it. What else do you want me to talk about?" He snaps at me. My eyes sting and I bite my lip.

"Sorry for bringing it up." I mumble. I bite down on my jaw to push back my tears. I hate that now I'm so emotional. I can be happy and cry.

"I didn't mean to snap at you." He huffs. I don't say anything, I just stare at him. "I'm sorry."

"I'll be in the living room if you need me." I say. My voice low.

"May-" I cut him off.

"You know it's not fun hearing your boyfriend say how much he loves, misses, and wants his ex girlfriend that he rather have. I was just trying to talk to you about it because you never do, so I don't know what you're thinking."

His eyes burn on me. "You think I'd rather have Lily?" Harry asks.

"Yes." He doesn't respond, he just stares at me with these tense eyes.

"Why do you think that?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't think about her everyday May." His voice defensive. "And I don't debate in my head who I'd rather be with."

"Well, you only have one choice and that's me, so." His eyebrow raises and his tongue pokes out of his cheek.

"May-"

"What Harry? It's pretty obvious that if Lily was still alive I wouldn't be standing here with you. Either you guys would've broken up, or stayed together. I highly doubt you would've wanted to talk to me either way."

"Can you stop?"

"Stop what?"

"Acting like I don't love you."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are! I love you so fucking much and it scares me to think about whether I would've stayed with Lily or not. It scares me to think about if she was still alive you wouldn't be in my life. So stop thinking that you're just some replacement." Harry snaps loudly. His hand runs through his hair tensely. My eyes look to my feet.

"I will always love her because she was my first everything, but she isn't my last. She isn't my last love, my last girlfriend, the last girl I'll care for and want to be with the rest of my life. You are, May. You're my last love, my last girlfriend, the last one I want to have kids with or be married too. You need to know the difference between her and you, because I have a long time ago."

I just stare at him.

"I'm sorry for brining it up." I murmur. I was trying to help. I don't want him to feel like he has to keep everything inside.

"It's okay." I nuzzle my head into his chest. "But please don't think that I'd rather have Lily than you. That makes me sad."

I nod and kiss his cheek.

A://N

comment goal: 40???

tysfm for reading my books! i'm very thankful for you guys

there is something wrong with me, i'm only reading 1 fanfic right now because i can't find any good ones. i always read the books when the author has to have a certain amount before they update .-. comment some good ones??

~lauren