My Everything (sequel to Secret) //EDITING//

Tweleve

May POV {college}

My phone is pressed against my ear and shoulder as I do the dishes. I'm on the phone with Ellie.

"How's it going up there?" She asks.

"Okay." I murmur. "How's California?"

"Good. After my internship I'm moving back home. I can only deal with this state for moments." I smile. "Sadie told me Harry lives in your building." My smile fades.

"Yep." I scrub the pan harder.

"How's that going?"

"Well," I start. "A few days ago we got trapped in an elevator together and that wasn't fun."

"What do you mean?"

"It stopped. It didn't move."

"Oh god! You hate elevators too."

"It was just more awkward because he hates me. But we did have a conversation."

"You still won't tell me what you did."

"All you need to now is that I'm a dumbass." I turn off the the water and dry my hands. I glance to the clock. "I gotta go do homework now. I'll call you later."

"Okay sis. Love you have fun." I smile gently.

"Love you too El." We have up the phone.

Ellie and I seem to be the closest out of my two sisters. Since Sadie and Harry are still best friends it's hard to be close. We get a long and all, but we aren't as close like me and El.

Ellie and I talk every other day, which is nice. I haven't heard from my parents though since last month. I didn't expect any improvement there.

It's the weekend and Adam went back home to visit Justin. Ronnie is at her boyfriends apartment for the night as well.

That leaves me alone, here.

At least I can study without distractions. Adam usually comes into my room and talks to me about whatever. I don't mind, it's Adam.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. A pit is forming in my stomach.

I pull out my phone and call Sadie.

***

I knock on the hard door and wait.

Please don't let a girl answer. Please don't let a girl answer.

"May?" Harry's voice questions.

"I lied." I blurt out. My chest is rising and falling.

His green eyes soon narrow and as he figured out what I'm trying to do, he starts to close the door but I kick it to the side.

"Harry I-"

"Why can't you understand I don't care about your excuses?"

"I didn't cheat on you." I say. His eyes tense up and he shakes his head. "The b-boy that left m-my house was Adam's boyfriend Justin. I-I was tutoring him and when he left you showed up. The bruise on my neck w-w-was from a curling iron. And it was laundry day and I had no other clothes." My heart is pounding against my chest roughly.

"Uhuh and I'm a unicorn."

"I'm being serious Harry." I say. My voice shaky.

"What do you want from me May?"

"I-I-I just wanted to t-tell you this." I say honestly. "And that I'm sorry."

"I've moved on from you."

"I'm not here t-to get you ba-back." I say seriously. "I-I just thought I owed you some sort o-of explanation."

"I don't want one." Harry's green eyes glare into mine. They look cold.

"But-"

"Okay, you lied. Is that supposed to make me not hate you anymore?" My heart plummets.

"N-no I-I-I-" I pause. Why can I just not stutter? For once. "I should've t-told you sooner tha-that I lied."

"So was your plan to become friends with me, and when I don't really hate you, and maybe forgive you; you would tell me you broke my heart for an unknown reason? And I'd go right back to hating you."

"T-that w-wasn't-" He cuts me off.

Maybe if you didn't stutter you could fucking explain yourself May.

"Whatever May. Anything else?"

"Um, I already paid 6 m-months f-for rent, after th-that I'll um find somewhere else to live."

"Do whatever you want. I don't care. Just don't speak to me again." As I'm about to open my mouth he speaks again. "And for the millionth time I do not want to hear why you cheated or lied or whatever the fuck you did." I look down to my feet and nod. After that I walk down the hall with even more self hatred in me.

It will just be easier if I just disappeared. Just restarted somewhere else.

Then again I'm broke and I'm living off of nothing practically.

I didn't go there to win him back, I know I can't. I know I can't make his eyes turn warm and loving again while looking at me. And I don't deserve a second chance with him. I don't want him to forgive me, I don't deserve it.

I sit on the steps in the stairwell and run my hand through my hair. My hands are shaking and tears are threatening to leave my eyes.

I don't know what is making me cry now.

The fact that my stutter is worst.

The fact that I can't even explain myself without it sounding stupid. Or my stutter taking over me completely.

The fact that I want to literally die and just let it be that. No guy is going to want to marry me. No guy is going to want to have a family with me. No guy is going to want me. So what's the purpose? So I can graduate college and die alone? Sounds lovely.

I hear the door open and I look to the wall and bite my lip. My sleeves wipe my eyes. "Everything alright?" A sweet voice asks. I glance to the person. He looks mid twenties. His eyes are a chocolate brown and his hair is a light brown as well.

"Yeah." I clear my throat. "Sorry for uh being in your way." I stand up and bite my lip. I wipe my hands on my jeans.

"No, don't worry about it." The nameless guy smiles gently. He takes a seat on the stairs and tilts his head for me to resume sitting. "I'm Cody." His hand reaches out for mine.

"M-may." I shake his soft hand.

"What's a pretty girl like you crying about?" My fingers fidget. "Boyfriend problems?"

"Just problems in general. One of t-them is about a boy that I dated." I bite down that it's pass tense.

"Hm," Cody leans back. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No," I sigh. "I don't deserve to have someone to listen to my problems."

"Did you kill someone?"

"No."

"Did you rape anyone?"

"No."

"Have you been in prison for a few years? Maybe because of drugs, or criminal actions?" A small smile leaves my lips.

"No."

"Then I don't see why you can't have someone to talk too." His eyes meet mine.

"I don't know you though." My voice is low.

"Then I don't have to be biased." A small smile curves on his lips.