holographic {stories}

internal dialogue (au)

// based on the way i think?? aka an au with myself and lewis, with actual thoughts I've had while driving

in this, I'll refer to myself as "k", and it'll be in "my" pov

----

My heart pounds loudly as I speed up to pass the semi truck, and the passenger in the seat beside me voices his identical discomfort.

"Goddamn, K, get your shit together! Slow the fuck down, the last thing you need is a speeding ticket!" He yelps out the words, and out of the corner of my eye I can see that one hand grips the edge of the seat and the other holds the handle my parents always called the "oh shit grip".

"Lewis, for the last time, shut the fuck up before I throw you out of the car right here right now." My words are monotone, because they merely voice an empty threat. I couldn't throw him out, because no matter what, he'd be right back in the passenger seat within twenty minutes.

My mind wanders, drifting away towards thoughts of my classes after I successfully make it past the semi. I quickly glance into the passenger seat, and Lewis is gone.

---

I get out of the car and start walking across the parking lot, head in the clouds yet again. I can't seem to stop myself from thinking about Lewis, as that little motherfucker keeps creeping right back into the front and center of my mind.

I blink and notice that I almost walked into a line of traffic, my heart pounding just as loud as it was earlier.

"K, you dumbass! Pay attention!" The familiar voice screeches from beside me, and I just look down and keep moving in lieu of a response.

"Listen to me, K, you really do need to pay attention. I don't mean to sound so rude." He jumps in front of me, startling me enough to bring me to a halt. His hand is in his hair, tugging at the strands while reaching out with his other hand. He makes the move to touch my shoulder, but as soon as he tries, his hand quite literally vanishes.

"Lewis, you're just a part of me I'd rather forget right now, please leave me alone. You're not needed in my life." I take care to walk past him instead of through him, but it doesn't matter. He's disappeared before I could make the first step.

--

A little while later, a girl from my class stops me. "Hey, I was wondering if you were okay?"

I stare blankly at her, my face turning that undesirable pink again. "Why wouldn't I be...?"

She looks away for a moment before murmuring, "I heard you on the phone earlier with someone named Lewis. You seemed upset."

"Lewis doesn't matter. He should be gone for a while now anyway," I blurt out before quickly walking away.

I could've sworn that I only responded to him in thoughts, but apparently I've been walking around the college for months talking to this little figment of my imagination.