Disaster • Arctic Monkeys Fanfiction

[twenty eight]

Alex's POV

"Everyone keep with the group," our tour guide warned us, trying to make her voice sound eerie as she took us through the lobby.  "You wouldn't want to go off on your own at a place like the Stanley."

I refrained from making a remark.  Our group was "oohing" and "aahing" at the historical details  and deaths our guide was periodically giving us, and I wasn't going to be that asshole who called it out for what this really was-- a tourist gimmick. 

Indi seemed to be really into it.  She stared at every room, wide-eyed, making comments to Claudia Schiffer girl.  Rose, I think her name was.

I broke off from the group when the guide took us out to the garden, wanting to explore without someone telling me what I should be looking at.  I pretended to be looking at bush of roses while the group moved on without me, too enthralled with the tour to notice my absence. 

Once they were gone, I began walking around the garden by myself, thankful that no one had recognized me yet.  I got a few lingering stares, but I figured that was because of my nose.

I walked around for a few boring minutes before deciding that this wasn't much better than the tour.  I was heading out of the garden when I heard the voice.

"Oh my god.  Ohmygodohmygod.  Is that the guy from Arctic Monkeys?  Oh my god, it's him.  IT'S ALEX TURNER!" 

I turned sharply to see a group of three teenage girls, all staring at me with hungry eyes.  They were clutching their phones in their hands, already ready to take a selfie with me.  A few other people in the garden turned to look at me.

Shit.

The whole reason we'd chosen Colorado for the video was to avoid this.

"Uh..." I said, scrambling.  "I..."

"Brad!" A voice called out from behind me.  "Dammit, Brad, I've been looking everywhere for you!"

I looked over my shoulder.  Indi was making her way towards me, waving a hand.

....what? 

Was she talking to me?  She was looking straight at me, but surely she had to be talking to someone else.

I turned back to the girls, who were all exchanging glances with one another.

"Brad!" Indi called again. 

That's when it clicked.   Indi wasn't talking to someone else-- she was trying save my ass.

"Yes, love?" I called up to her, trying to disguise my voice.  But with a Sheffield accent, that  was nearly impossible.

The girls looked at me, utterly confused.

"You must have me mistaken," I said to them.  "Im not Alex Turner.  I'm... Brad."

The shortest girl with purple hair shook her head. "There's no way.  You look just like him.  You even have the same jacket as him."

Indi appeared at my side, and to my surprise, she hooked her arm in mine.  "Where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you.  Oh, hey girls.  What's going on here?"

They were speechless, obviously completely puzzled at the sight of her on my arm.  

It was almost like that was it for them, that was the deciding factor that told them I wasn't me-- the fact that someone like Alex Turner would never be seen arm-in-arm with someone as messy and strange as Indi.

And that kind of pissed me off.

"They thought I was Alex Turner," I told Indi, trying to sound like that was the biggest impossibility in the universe. 

"Again?" She laughed.  "Well maybe if you'd stop copying him it wouldn't happen as much."

"Well, I mean he does have great style."

"Mmmm," she said, keeping a fake smile on her face.  "I think he looks like an Elvis wannabe with greasy hair.  What do you think, girls?"

They scurried off before answering, adolescent embarrassment turing their cheeks a flaming red.  Indi dropped my arm the second they disappeared around the corner, still glancing over their shoulders at us.

"Thanks," I said to her, relived beyond belief.  "Really."

She shook her head dismissively.  "Matt sent me.  We were worried you'd been taken by a ghost."

She didn't sound as mad anymore.  But I'm sure that wouldn't last long.

"And you agreed to come?" I questioned.

"No," she admitted.  "Not until I heard the fangirls."

"Well," I said, clearing my throat.  "Thanks. Again."

She shrugged, but didn't turn away from me.  So there was another reason she'd come to find me.

"What did you mean in the car?" she asked abruptly, like she was angry at herself for even asking.  "About seeing who I was, or whatever.  Because you can't possibly mean that I'm anything like you."

"I think we're more alike than you think."

She narrowed her eyes at me.  "I'm not the one who moves in on other girls while he has a girlfriend-"

"Not my girlfriend-"

"-or uses innocent girls such as myself to feed his insatiable ego."

"Innocent?" I raised an eyebrow.  "I would hardly describe you as such."

"Forget it," she said, huffing and turning away from me.  "But you still owe me three."

I followed her as she stalked up the hill. "Three?" 

"Well, it was one at the radio station the first day we met, for saving my job when I fell.  But then that was canceled out when you tried to make a move on me.  So we were at zero when we ran into each other at the club."

"And then I got punched in the face for you.  So that's one for me."

"Then I helped you back to your hotel," she continued.  "So that was one for me.  And then you tried to kiss me without mentioning you had a girlfriend, so that canceled out your one."

"She isn't my girlfriend," I repeated.  "And I'd say that was a mutual almost-kiss."

"But you kept your promise about not getting me drunk," she continued, ignoring me.  "So then you went back up to one."

"Let me guess," I said.  "That was canceled out when you found me with Chanel?"

"Her name is Chanel?" She scoffed.  "Of course it is.  And yes.  It was so bad, actually, that it took you down to negative four and one of your points carried over to me."

"So then I'm at negative four, and you're at two."

"Up until I just saved you from an onslaught of selfies with your horrid nose being released all over social media.  So three.  You owe me three."

"And you owe me... negative four?"

"Yep."

"You've thought a lot about this," I said, trying not to laugh.

"I've had to channel all this negative energy somehow," she shot at me.  "Otherwise I'd be plotting your murder."

"Fair enough, love."

She looked over at me in disgust.  "You don't have permission to call me that."

"Whatever you say," I paused for dramatic effect.  "Love."

She rolled her eyes, annoyed.  "Alright, Brad, two can play at that game."

We spent the rest of the walk shooting insults at each other until we caught up with the group.  Matt gave me a look when he saw us, but then quickly dumped all of his attention back on Rose moments later. 

Indi separated herself from me immediately, going to stand by the redhead.  

"Alright, lads, I'm done with this," Nick said as the tour guide led the front half of our group back inside.  "Who's down for a drink?"

We all couldn't agree quick enough.