Disaster • Arctic Monkeys Fanfiction

[seventy five]

Indi's POV

I didn't even bother knocking when I entered Jude's apartment.  I don't remember ever knocking on his door, really.

And while I wasn't particularly dying to talk to talk to Jude, I just needed to go somewhere.  Seeing all those messages and calls on Alex's phone had kind of thrown me off.  I guess it had sort of reminded me who he was.

He wasn't just some regular guy that had some regular job.  He was Alex Turner.  He was a rockstar, for fucks sake.  It felt like somewhere along the way I'd forgotten that.

I swallowed hard and tried to push the self-destructive thoughts away.  I found Jude sitting on his couch, typing away furiously on his laptop.

"Glad to see you're not dead," he said without looking at me as I made my way into his living room.

I plopped down next to him.  "Sorry.  I've been babysitting."

He raised an eyebrow at me.  "Interesting word choice."

"Leave it to the writer," I sighed.

We were both silent for a moment.  I look around his apartment, noticing a few bags piled up on his chair.

"Going somewhere?" I asked.

"Conference in Dallas," he said.   "I told you about a few months ago.  Hell, I invited you."

"Shit," I said.  "Sorry, I completely forgot.  Things have just been so..."

Strange.  Magical.  Terrifying.  

He shook his head.  "Don't worry about it, Indi.  I get it."

I couldn't help but smile.  "You always do."

He typed a few more sentences and then closed his laptop.  "You know, you're still welcome to come with me.  Get out of town for a few days."

It was tempting, but there was no way I could go when Alex was next door.  The next few days were going to be our last, and I couldn't waste it.

My stomach sank thinking about it.  How was this all going to work?  When was I even going to see him again?  Would I ever see him again?  The uncertainty of it all started to make me feel sick. 

I was about to leave or vomit or something, when Jude spoke up.

"You love him, don't you?"

"Huh?"

His eyes softened slightly as he searched my face.  "Alex.  You love him."

Hopelessly.

I nodded.  He kind of laughed, looking away from me. 

"What?" I questioned.

"I should have known, is all," he said.  "I mean, I saw the way you looked at him at the club on your birthday.  They way you two disappeared at the pumpkin patch..."

"I'm sorry," I told him.  "I should have told you."

He leaned forward slightly.   "Are the feelings mutual?"

"I dunno," I admitted.  "I mean, I think they are.  But at the same time I can't tell if I'm just another one of his flings.  I want to believe that I know him and understand his intentions, but the truth is I don't.  Not really."

Jude didn't say anything for a long time.  He stared straight ahead, looking deep in thought.  

"Say something," I said, trying to throw some casualness into the tense air.  "You're freaking me out."

He sighed.  "You're my friend, Indi.  One of my best friends, really.  And I don't want to see you get hurt.  You have to be careful with guys like him."

"Guys like him?"

His eyebrows pushed together.  "It's just... he's in Arctic Monkeys.  He's famous, Indi.  And you're..."

"And I'm just me."

It hurt, but it was true.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said quickly.  "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

My shoulders slumped slightly. "Yeah.  Me neither."

He stood up then, grabbing my hand and pulling me up with him.  "Come on.  I made some really good quesadillas and you look in dire need of good food."

"That's okay," I laughed.  "Rose and Matt are coming back with Chinese soon.  You're welcome to come over if you want."

He shrugged.  "I might.  I have to get some more packing done.  My flight leaves at 5 tomorrow morning."

I let go of his hand and pulled him in for a hug.  "My door's always open.  Not like you knock anyway."

"Look who's talking," he laughed into my ear.

I pulled back.  "You're a good friend, Jude.  Most of the time."

He smiled coyly.  "Don't turn sappy on me."

I shoved him playfully.  "Never."

I made my way to the door, deciding that I just needed to get the truth from Alex.  And the best way to do so was just ask.

Jude pulled the door open for me.  "You're still welcome to come to Dallas, you know.  The school bought me two tickets."

"That's okay," I said.  "I'm basically a corpse before the sun comes up.  You know that."

"Alright, alright," he laughed.  "I get it.  No need for excuses."

We said our goodbyes and I made my way out into the hallway.  I was almost to my door when Jude called my name.

I turned around to see his smile had faded slightly and his eyes had a more serious look to them.

"Just be careful with him, Indi," he said.  "Okay?"

"Of course," I said, flashing him my most reassuring smile.  "Careful is my middle name."

But by the way he looked at me, I could tell that we both knew that was the absolute furthest thing from the truth.