Miserable at Best (Sequel to Our Never Ending Melody) (NateWantsToBattle)

Chapter 28

"I don't understand this." I start, as I turn right onto a side road. "How did you manage?" I ask Nate, who was slouched in the passenger seat leaning against the door, staring out the window.

"I don't know. I tripped, and that's that." Nate told me calmly, his voice weak.

It's only been a few weeks -- more like a month -- since Alex tried to sneak in on our conversation. To this day, she still has no idea what's going on..

Which is a good thing.

But this secret is getting harder to keep. With each day, Nate is getting worse. I don't know how to help him anymore. Morgan wanted to check him into a hospital, due to the fact that he now looks physically ill.

He's scrawny and frail.. The color in his face is gone, his eyes are dull... Even the color of his hair, which is a dark shade of black, is faded from being ill.

I look away from the road briefly, before looking back at my over tired friend. "Sometimes, I wonder how you manage." I start quietly.

"You just ran a red light." Nate told me, moving his bangs away from his eyes.

"No I didn't."

"I just watched you run it." He said to me. "Also, slow down, you're making me nervous.

"Why?" I ask, "because you're not driving?"

"No.." He said.. "It's just.."

"You're not even allowed to drive anymore!" I tell him. "You were told last week, that you can't drive anymore."

"Yeah, I know. Not sure how I'm going to explain this to Morgan.. She likes going out, and if I'm unable to drive her, she'll be questioning me more than she alredy does." He explained.

"Well." I start. "If Morgan wants to go out, I'll take her." I finished.

"I can totally drive her." He rolled his eyes, looking at me.

"Your doctor told you last week, you can't drive anymore. You've been having too many blackout, he says."

"I know, I heard him." Nate mumbled quietly, staring out the window.

"You seem a little miffed today." I say to him trying not to offend him.

"I'm tired, Brett. I haven't got much sleep." He told me.

"I thought you slept last night?" I ask.

"No, Morgan was up all night with the baby, and I was having trouble breathing." He told me.

"Yeah, I know. Morgan was telling Phoebe that you stopped breathing during the night." I tell him.

He looked over to me then to the window. "Also, during the night is when I'm consumed by my thoughts." He added.

"How?" I ask him.

"I have too much on my mind every night. Every single night, I'm left alone with my fucking thoughts." He continued as if I never cut him off. "I don't like the thoughts in my mind, but if I were to say anything about them, I'd be put in a mental hospital for the things I'd be saying."

"Like what?" I ask.

He fell silent, looking away from me. "I know I literally just explained it, but I really don't want to talk about it." He said to me.

"Okay, that's fine, man." I say to him, giving him a small smile. "Whenever you feel like talking about it, I'll listen. I'm here for you."

"Thanks." He failed to look at me, but I knew his thanks was sincere.

I saw him yawn, looking out his window. It's late. I, myself, and freaking tired.. Unlike Nate, I can't sleep. I'm driving... But I'd rather being tired and driving, then sleeping. I trust Nate 200% when it comes to driving, but the poor guy isn't even allowed to drive anymore.. He's being stripped of every ability he has.

"I see him." He told me with a yawn.. His voice quiet.

"See who?" I ask, knowing I shouldn't have..

"Hunter." He looked at me. I stay silent. "I see him all the time. Sometimes he looks so real, I think he's still alive.. But he's not." He said. "... I saw him the other night.. When I blacked out. I saw him.. He looked so real... It made me think I was dying -- and honestly, I would've been okay with dying -- but I knew I wasn't, cause I saw him fade.. He was gone.."

I looked at him for a moment, stopping at a red light. He was silent. He still stayed silent after the light turned green again. "You think I'm crazy.." He suddenly said, sounded slightly disappointed.. "Maybe I am crazy.."

"No! No! You're NOT crazy!" I say to him, trying not to give him that idea.

He didn't look up, he only turned to the window again. "It's okay if you think I'm crazy... I think I'm crazy.." He said.

"Nate, you're not crazy! Stop saying that! You. Are. Not. Crazy!" I say to him sternly. "I mean, sure, your mind isn't 100% right now, but you witnessed death, and like a gazillion other things in the past year.. You're perfectly fine." I tell him, looking at him.

I did notice him, look away from the passenger window with a tired look in his eyes, changing his view to the front Windshield. "And if you're seeing Hunter every now and then, don't listen to the people who say you're insane, cause your not!"

"Brett.." He started silently.

"Shut up Nate! I'm lecturing you!" I start again. "If you see her, to me, I see that as 'you still love her', that you won't ever give up on her!"

"Brett." He repeated, with a little more concern in his voice.

"So you're not crazy Nate! I don't think you're crazy. Your mother will never think you're crazy! She's your mother!" I continued to lecture him. "Never ever think you're crazy ever again!'

"Brett!" He suddenly yell, actually panicked.

"What?" I turn to him, then look back to the road.

"You ran a stop sign." He told me with a sigh.

"God damn it Nate! You can't stand not driving, huh?" I ask after yelling at him.

"Sorry, I just witnessed you run two stop signs." He told me.

"You're clearly tired." I tell him. "Go to bed when we get home."

"I was planning on it." He sighed with a yawn, his eye twitching.

I feel bad for him. How can I fix this? Before it's too late?