Regretting Bokuto | Bokuto x Reader

Chapter Eleven • January 9th, 2017

You are devastated. The next thing the letter told you is that Bokuto's dog passes away. You can only imagine how heartbroken he is. Bokuto wasn't at school yesterday which was understandable.

• January 9th, 2016
Bokuto is going through a hard time because his dog passed away. When he tells you, you told him sorry and your friend calls you away, leaving Bokuto alone. Don't go off with her. Stay with Bokuto.

You kept your eyes glued on the door until Bokuto walked through, heading to his desk. He didn't say a word to you which is very unlike him. Bokuto always says something first, no matter what it is. He didn't even glance at you.

You don't need to know what happened to see he was upset. It's so obvious. Bokuto is staring blankly at his desk with his head down. He gives off a sad aura all around him.

"Bokuto-san," you wearily speak up, "are you alright?"

Bokuto gives a short and low hum as a response.

"Can I do anything for you?"

He shakes his head.

"If you need anything, you know I'm here for you. Right?" You assure him, so he doesn't feel alone.

Bokuto gives a brief nod as he remains staring at the tabletop of his desk.

What you wouldn't do to make this boy happy.

How do you care for him? How do you make him feel better? He has a good reason to be sad now, there is no encouraging him out of it.

Bokuto is usually so lively and never runs out of things to talk about. It's like his mind is always racing. But today, even a glance would tell you it all came to a stand still.

How badly you want to hold his hand and squeeze him and tell him it's going to be okay. Bokuto doesn't know you know yet. You can't. You wish you could comfort him somehow but you feel like it would be no use.

No matter what you do, his heart will still ache.

The bell rang and the teacher went right to his desk. He took attendance and when he had gotten to Bokuto, he didn't say anything. He only raised his hand.

At this point everyone knew something was wrong with him. Bokuto would always say something dumb or give an obnoxious 'here' but that Bokuto wasn't here today.

He might be gone for a while.

Bokuto put his hand down and continued to bore his eyes into his desk. The teacher looked over to you and pointed to him, as if asking what was up with him. You could only give a shake of the head in response, as if say to leave him alone for today.

After class, it was passing period. You had to go to the bathroom and Bokuto asked to talk to you in private. Here it comes, the devastating conversation.

Bokuto had you both settled against the windows of the hallway as he spoke with a broken voice, "Something happened."

"What happened? Are you alright?" You pretend.

"(dog/name)..passed away..the other day." Bokuto says, trying to hold back his tears.

Your heart becomes heavy.

"B-Bokuto-san," You reply, "I'm so sorry that is awful."

"(l/n)-san! Come on!" Your friend tells you, no idea what Bokuto just told you. "You always go to the bathroom at this time and I have to go too!"

You turn to face her, "I'm busy right now, do you think you could go by yourself?"

She realizes you are with Bokuto. She didn't take notice you were talking to him, only that you were talking to someone. She nods to you and goes off.

You turn back to the boy before you, "How did she...?"

"Just old age. You saw how she couldn't get up too well or go up the stairs." Bokuto says as he wipes his tears from his eyes. "It was coming."

The only thing you can think to do was hug him, so you did. You have him a nice and tight one as you spoke, "(dog/name) was very sweet. I'm sure it is hard for you and your family. I know how you feel, Bokuto-san, I'm sure you're hurting. But I know you can push through it eventually. I'll be here to make sure that happens."

Bokuto didn't return your hug but you can only guess that it was because he wasn't in the mood. He probably feels numb.

You pull away and Bokuto speaks, "I stayed up with her all night until..you know.."

You see a tear pass down his face and you can't help but wipe it away yourself, "That's good. You gave her a nice goodbye. I'm sure she appreciated it a lot." You assure him. "How did you know?"

Bokuto pauses to think before speaking, "S-She just wasn't herself and her being so old, you can only guess.." He says wiping tears from his eyes.

"Do you want to go home? I can walk you back." You question him.

Bokuto obviously shouldn't have came to school. Then again, it might be because he was talking about it.

"No. I can't skip school just because my dog died."

"(dog/name) was apart of your family. Her being an animal doesn't mean her life is any less than someone else in your family. The hurt is all the same. If you're hurting, you're hurting. I don't want you to pretend to be okay all day. If you want to cry, you should cry. It helps sometimes."

Tears started to flow down his face and the hallways had begun to become empty. You must have been too real about feelings. Maybe you should dial it down a notch.

The bell rang as you brought him in for another hug, one he returned. You both stood there in silence as you held onto each other. You don't know if he is still crying or trying to calm down.

You feel him pull back and see his tears has cleared up. Maybe he calmed down.

"I-I think I'm fine if I don't talk about it."

"If you're sure, then okay."

"I'm going to go to the bathroom first."

"Okay. I'll see you in class." You tell him, realizing you never went potty yourself. Now you have to hold it in.

You enter the class four minutes late and all of the eyes are on you as you sit down.

"Were you with Bokuto out there?" The teacher asks.

"Yeah, I was talking to him about it. He went to the bathroom to gather himself. I'm sorry."

"I'll let it go this time. Don't let it happen again." The teacher warns you.

"Yes."