As Long As You Love Me

Chapter 24

Selena's POV

Broken, shattered, lost, scared, ripped,  torn , mistaken,  pained..

Those are some of the words that describe me at the moment. The fact that I can't process what I just heard and all the unshown pain I've kept in for 5 years just took a big turn for me. Im on my knees bleeding,  hurt and injured but I can't feel it at all. All the pain i feel is internal i dont give a damn about what I look or feel like externally.

"Selena oh god!  Get up you're bleeding!, " Nick practically it yells in frustration as I continue to weep "Justin will be down here if he hears you and god knows what he would do if-,"

"If what?! If he found out?!, " I spat,  sadness dissolving into anger "do you possibly think he'd care?  All he wants now is bloody Ariana!, " I yell

"He'll hear you Selena calm the heck down!,"

"So what if he hears me?," I Say a bit softer than last time,  loosing energy with the count of lost blood as he holds his temple and looks away "do you think I need this?!,"

"I beg to differ, " Nick looks back at me,  his hands still rests on his temple "need this?  You're the one sitting down on glass,  pricking yourself and crying let alone yelling at me!, "

"That's not the point!, " I attempt to get up but fall back down,  the glass cutting deeper as I cry in pain. Nick cringes at the sight and comes nearer to assist me. The adrenaline rushed through my veins,  making me jump up to my feet,  the glass cutting the flesh around my knees but at the moment I felt nothing but the pain inside my heart...

"Selena you're gonna get those legs amputated if you don't stop and sit down!, " he comes closer but I find tge strenght to move away

"No Nick!, " I say putting my hand in front to stop him. My damn tears still making me look vulnerable. Not that Im not but still I wanna atleast look brave,  currently that tought got flushed down the toilet.

"Sele-, "

"No just- just stop, " I cut him off "what did I do to deserve this?  To be brought into this stupid situation?  To be labeled as your best friend's girlfriend? To be said to stay and then leave the next day?  What has gotten into him?  He said he loved me!  He said he wanted me to stay and to never leave!  Today?  He says he wants Ariana!  She  is dead for heaven's sake!  Bloody dead!  What does he want me to do now?  Get down with him and get myself pregnant with his goddamned child and kill myself later on?  Will that be enough for him?  Kill myself too so he could see that I lived for him?  So that he would see Im not Ariana!  To see that I love him too and I loved him more? What do I need to do Nick?!  I can't loose him too..  ," I break down right in front of him as I imagine my state without meeting Justin. I cant go back there!  I just can't...  "I can't imagine him connected to hospital wires,  breathing through a machine,  bandages covering every limb of his body, eyes shut and fighting for his life!  It's all her fault!  She made him this way!  I would be horrible if he didn't come to me!  I doubt myself to even be alive too today!  Yeah I've got it all ...the fans,  the fame,  the fortune!  But he is my everything!  I just- I just can't and what's going on today?  He left me without even leaving me!, " I sob making Nick rush to my side and hug me,  in attempt to comfort me. I doesn't really work because we both know these arms are not the ones I want to be in right now...

"I know what you're going through Se-, "

"You know nothing!, " I say pulling myself forcefully out of his grip "You don't know a single thing that I've been through!, " I yell "Don't come in here trying to-, "

"Selena stop!  This isn't you whose talking right now, "

"What do I look like to you?  A freaking ghost?!,"