Unstable ⭐Gratsu⭐

Chapter 12

Everyone at Fairy Tail now assumed Natsu and I were together. I get that we kissed but just because we kissed doesn't mean that we are automatically dating. It was just a confession.

Once we made it back to Magnolia after fighting that sand storm monster I went back home and sat down on my couch. I left the TV off as I slid out of my clothes and laid down on the couch. I tucked both of my hands up under my head and pulled my knees up to my chest. I slowly let them move down until they were comfortable. I didn't move again for a long time.

I just didn't have it in me.

I don't have the energy to do anything. I didn't want to get up and visit the guild hall. I didn't want to go for a walk. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just want to stay here. I know I shouldn't be letting this black cloud fully surround me but I can't help it. I push it away so much that sometimes it is just a lot easier to let it swallow me up.

My eyes had closed but I never fell asleep. There was just too much going on in my mind to let me sleep. My arms had started to itch so I squeezed my eyes closed even more and buried my face down into the couch. I started taking very shaky deep breathes, like I imagine people to do when they are having a nightmare. I suddenly sat straight up and started crying as I did. I hit my head off of something and reached up to cover the spot with my hand. I sat, still breathing weirdly. I need it. I just really need it right now. I pushed up from the couch but felt something pull me back down. I shook my head and attempted to get away from whatever was holding me down.

"Hey, calm down. You're alright." I shook my head and continued to struggle against the persons grip.

"I need it. I need it. Please let me go, I need it." The persons hold on me got even tighter as they turned me over into them. By now my thighs and stomach felt like they were on fire. I reached down to put my hand on my thigh and began to pinch it. Someone's hand grabbed mine to make me stop.

I laid my head on their chest and moved my other hand over to start pinching again. I need some sort of release. Once again, their hand came over to grab that one to make me stop. I sighed and closed my eyes wishing this feeling would go away.

"Gray, why are you trying to hurt yourself?" I stayed silent and as still as I could be. I just want to shrivel up and die.

"Answer me." This person jiggled me around a bit but I still didn't respond. Can't this person see that I want to be alone? I heard them sigh and held me tighter to them as they laid us down on the couch. Or chests were almost fully pressed together, minus his vest and scarf that was in the way.

He began humming quietly. At first I found it annoying and wished for him to just be quiet. My skin continued to itch and burn as it yearned for the blade but, for the first time in years, instead of giving in I slowly fell asleep in Natsu's protecting arms.

When I awoke again I was in my bed. I sat up and yawned while rubbing at my eyes. How did I get here? I thought I was on the couch? I flipped the blankets off of me and stood up. The coldness of the floor felt nice to me after being cuddled up in thick blankets for a long time. I walked through the house until I got to the kitchen. I leaned over the side to peak in. No one was stood there. I went over to the living room and saw Natsu sat on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table. His hands rested on his stomach while his head was laid back against the couch. I smiled at the site and walked over to sit next to him. I leaned over into his shoulder and sat listening to his quiet snores for about twenty minutes.

Suddenly I realized that the itch feeling was back. I tried to lightly scratch my arms to make the feeling go away but it didn't work. I pulled away from him and slowly stood up, still scratching at my arms. I walked through my house until I reached the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and bent down in front of the sink. I opened up the cabinet and reached in.