Living With The O'Neil Brothers

Chapter 15

When I came back to, I was in the arms of Taylor. He was whispering sweet nothings into my ear and I was sobbing into his shoulder.

"Taylor I can't anymore! I can't deal with that pain anymore please make it stop," I begged holding onto Taylor.

"Don't say that! I love you too much. I can't let you leave me," he whispered. I just kept sobbing. Remembering how that day went and how nice I thought Olivia was.

She was my best friend! I can't believe she ever did that. I didn't even know she was into girls. Definitely didn't know she was into me.

Taylor rubbed my back up and down while I sobbed into his arms and I had to admit. I look very pathetic. I feel pathetic.

"Taylor I can't deal with it anymore! I see her everyday over there and I c-can't!"

"Don't say that, it'll get better."

"When? When will it get better?! I've been hoping for two years now that it will get better but it hasnt!" By now I was standing up, ignoring the pain in my feet, and I angrily sobbing.

"Okay! Just calm down Reagan."

"I lied to you, Taylor." I sobbed. If I don't tell him now, the guilt will eat at me forever. "I did."

"You did what? Please tell me you didn't do it," he pleade, tears building up in his eyes. I let out one more sob before I pulled down my shorts down just enough so he could see the fresh cuts and older ones.

"Reagan," he was full on crying by now and it broke my heart seeing him cry. I've only ever seen him cry three times before this.

I was the one making him cry! It's my fault.

I sobbed harder than before and before Taylor knew what was happening I pulled my shorts back up, I unlocked the door, and I ran out of the house as fast as I could. It hurt like he'll since my feet we're still burning, but I kept going.

I ran past a confused Ace and I could hear the yells from Taylor upstairs.

Once outside I started running towards my secret spot. It's not that secret, but you don't know its there if you don't look close enough. I could hear both Ace and Taylor behind me, yelling out my name. I ran towards the park and into the woods.

I quickly made sure that Ace and Taylor were both out of sight before running towards my spot. I unlocked the door from the floor, lifted it, got in, and closed it back over me.

As soon as I did, darkness overflew the room and I searched for the light on my left. I clicked it on and soon enough light emitted the small room.

It didn't have much in it. A desk sat in the right corner and next to it was a stove for when I came in here  for days. I would just get away from everyone and everything. Taylor doesn't even know about this place.

Two chairs were in the middle of the room and a couple notebooks, pens, and pencils were on the floor. I picked all of them up and set them on the desk.

One of the notebooks flew open and I looked at it. A girl sat in the middle. She was staring off into space, a smile on her face. She looked peaceful. The only thing horrifying about it was that the people around her were screaming names at her.

Slut.

Freak.

Emo.

Whore.

Freak of nature.

Die you bitch.

Kill yourself already.

The world would be a better place if you just died!

I sighed and closed it. I ripped out a couple pages from the notebook and started writing out letters.

Dear Taylor,

I scribbled out the words in anger. What the hell am I doing? Am I seriously doing this? I'm so fucked.

I looked down at my thighs and slammed my fist into the desk.

What's the point? I'm already so fucked. My body is already covered in scars. My mind is already full of thoughts I can't imagine. My memories are so bad. I killed two people for goodness sake!

I can still remember their screams and their eyes. How scared they were. They feared, but at the same time they kind of knew what was going to happen to them. They shouldn't have. They didn't deserve what I did to them. They didn't deserve it.

I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

xxxx

Okay, so I'm gonna leave it like that and I know its so short. Don't kill me!

*hides under the bed*