P.I.E Meets Gravity Falls (Being Rewritten)

A Long Chapter.

--Wendy's POV--

I'm waiting in the mall for something to fall for the nacho trap. I mean, Dipper did last year, so... This time Robbie made it and was prepared on the far side of the cafeteria. I don't know where dad and my brothers, though they might have dug an apocalyptic bunker in the backyard... That's what I'm hoping for. I sighed a bit and heard voices approaching. I couldn't see who it was, though. Robbie and I dashed into positions without a second thought, hiding from whoever it was.

"Oh, my gosh, Papa! Nachos!" Someone shouted in joy, dashing toward the trap. He sounded like a seven-year-old, almost squealing in excitement.

"WAIT, BILLY! I WANT SOME!" a more masculine voice huffed, following the younger voice, panting.

Someone sighed, "well you'd better share them." even though she was shouting across a mall during the apocalypse, she sounded more... Intelligent than the other two.

"Mama! Mama! While we'we hewe, may I get some waffles?" A voice that sounded like a five-year-old on a sugar high chirped

"If they have any in the back of the food court, you can."

"Mama, whewe do you think Spencew went?" The five-year-old asked, loudly. 

"He can take care of himself, he's smarter than all of us, remember?" The woman, who I'm assuming is their mom, replied.

"BILLY! I'VE FOUND YOU!" Someone shouted from the far side of the mall. There was the sound of someone running, then the rope trap triggered. I looked to see a fat bald man, a guy in a medic suit, squiming away from a girl in an "I love Billy" t-shirt.

"GERTRUDE! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE THIS INSTANT!" The fat bald gut shouted, crossing his arms.

"How'd that even suppowt youw weight?" The five-year-old voice questioned.

"Sally, your grounded." The bald man huffed. "No shrinking Billy into a barbie doll for a month." The medic suit guy cheered, despite having a most-likely-a-stalker girl trying to hug his neck.

"NOOOO, PAPA!" She cried. A woman with ginger hair and a green sweater walked over and cut down the rope trap with a crowbar.

"Next time check for traps. We can't afford any more deaths... Sue was enough."

"I don't know why it isn't working!" The seven-year-old voiced medic cried out as he fell, "he respawns faster than the rest of us! AND I WAS RIGHT THERE!" The ginger lady sighed and patted his back, sharply looking to the bald guy for support. He just joined the pity party, grumbling possible words of encouragement. 

By then Robbie and I were just watching, dumbstruck. They were the craziest, possible most dysfunctional family in existence if they were even all related.  "Come on, Sally. Let's get you some waffles." The ginger called to an unknown person. A girl in her early twenties, tops, dashed in wearing a tutu and holding an empty toaster gun thing.

"Good! I'm outta ammo! Awe you coming, Papa?" The said in her squeaky five-year-old voice. I realized they were coming back, and I signaled a retreat to Robbie, who was watching in terror as the bald guy literally chugged our nachos

"Inna minute. Imma bit busy." He mumbled, "Jalapeno cheddar sausages would taste so good with this..."

"Fine..." The lady began walking toward me and I froze, not knowing what to do or where to hide. The woman turned the corner and looked me up and down. "Oh, hello! Do you happen to know where the waffles are?" She acted like she was at a grocery store talking to one of the employees. I looked to Robbie for help, and he just ran around to reach me the back way, as to not run into... Whatever the medic guy and girl were doing. He was running and screaming for his life while she kept screeching things about loving him.