Sigh. It seems that when you make the decision you are going to concentrate on you, and try to focus your life on a path of success and in my case, pretty much swear off men, they start coming out of the woodwork like termites at the scent of prime wood. What is a girl to do? Well, that depends on the type of man I'm approached by and the type of situation I'm in. Also more importantly what head space I'm in. All of this is just a roundabout way of not saying, it's about how stressed out I'm willing to be at this point in my life. Well to tell you the truth, it's not too high on my to-do list but one never knows what is going to come their way and one thing I have learnt is that it is best to roll with the punches.
It so happened I was minding my own business when I was approached by a charming gentleman while browsing in the book section of a store. He was a refreshing change, clean and tidy, not to mention the way he spoke to me was a million times more polite than the way the very rude guy I had to deal with at work did. It made me think about the fact that so few men are polite in these modern times.
We ended up chatting about books, and I discovered quite a bit about him. At my age, it is near impossible to find an unmarried, childless man and this man wasn't the exception to the rule. Divorced for two years, he had a son who was away at university. Like I said he was charming, and we ended up talking to the point we exchanged numbers. Was this a wise thing to do? Who knows? Just because I decided to talk to the man doesn't mean I was going to jump into bed with him after one conversation no matter how stimulating. I needed to get back into the world of the existing and if a friendship with this man could set me on the path then so be it. That was all it was going to be about, being friends.
This gentleman is not the only one that approached me but like I said he was the nicest. One of the others was much too pushy, and even though I told him no politely it seemed like he didn't understand English very well. A woman must at least feel a little bit of a spark when she meets a guy for the first time and if it's not there then she is drawn to him because of something he does. Well, this character doesn't even have this going for him. Quite the opposite, everything about his attitude and mannerisms made me want to find a hole and hide.
Have you ever seen an event unfolding and felt nothing but embarrassment for the persons involved? Well, I felt that for him and he didn't seem to understand N . . . O . . . NO, I'm not interested in you in any way, form or fashion. I made my rejection as polite as possible but believe me when I say doing that was a task. He was much too touchy-feely when we were not even in a relationship and I didn't like this at all. No matter what I said it was like he had no understanding when it came to boundaries. Man, I dodged him like the plague because he didn't seem to understand, I'm not getting into a relationship with you. Did he think little remarks like how good we would be was going to help? Not wanting to see you in clothes should translate that seeing you naked and you seeing me was not going to happen, ever. The stuff of nightmares people, horrible nightmares.
Now sometimes you have the misfortune of meeting a truly vile, rude, crass, sexist man, who tells you the most vulgar things but somehow expects you to run eagerly to him like he is the ultimate gift to women. Sick in his brain is what he is. What would I be doing with him in my life to pollute the lives of my children? He had already, unfortunately, polluted mine. For him and others like him, the answer is not NO, it is NEVER. Nothing could make me think it would be all right to get involved with him. His ridiculously poor attitude does nothing to improve his lack of appeal.
When it comes to eventually getting into a relationship, I know now is definitely not the time for me to do this. My life needs to be resettled, but most important of all, I need to learn how to become comfortable in my own skin. A lot of women seem to have the inability to function without having a man there and I had this problem in the worst way. I have been slowly working on it, getting my own life, but still, I find myself looking towards guys. Why not? I like men and think they are amazing beings.
Funny that I can still say that after what Walter did to me, but I'm working very hard at bringing only positive things into my life. I know people, it's not easy because there is always someone who won the award for being the idiot of the century trying to make you invent new methods of murder and body disposal but ladies refrain, I beg you. Look at the offender with a broad smile, breathe extra deep and exhale. That will help you give your body a refreshing lungful of oxygen that will help to settle your mind. Let the idiot go on their way because their time will come and if they keep up their stupid ways, quicker than they expect.
Even though it doesn't seem that way a lot of the time, they are actually more decent people out there than fools and once you stick to your standards you will be fine. That is the key thing, having standards and keeping them. When you get out there in your everyday interactions look, think and assess. You meet people daily and it is only by interacting with them you get to know what they are like. I know among them there will be guys that I would be willing to become friends with, while others I want to forget seconds after I meet them. It simply boils down to Yes, No, NEVER and knowing which guy deserves which answer.
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Diary of a Recovering Idiot
ChickLit"It's time to trade up to a newer model," said Walter. "I had you for twenty years too long." Those were the words that threw my life into a tailspin and placed me on a journey of chaotic rediscovery. Soon it was a matter of surviving because I had...
