With every day that comes and goes, we choose a path that takes us closer to or further away from the people we know. Often when we look back, it is only to discover we have let many of our long time friendships just dissolve away like a lump of forgotten sugar in a glass of water. In my case, there was a lot of forgetting done on my part, but a lot of persons had also distanced themselves from me due to Walter's disagreeable attitude. He was difficult and I was blind to his faults, so everyone took to the hills running.
Now word of Walter's removal from my life has become common knowledge to be traded like stock over the gossip market, and it seems with every turn I see more and more of my past friends and acquaintances popping up. The thing is, do I wish to recapture the past they so vividly recall or am I searching for a new exciting path that takes me yet further and further away from them? That is a difficult decision to make, but one that must be made nonetheless.
When I think back and recall some of those people, I knew I had to let my newfound instincts come strongly into play. There was no need to extend the invitation to them all because the new me would not tolerate quite a few of them. My attitude and priorities in general, have changed and the individual they knew while growing up had gone through wind, rain and fire coming out the other side of the assault a totally transformed woman.
The question that has been playing through my mind even as one by one each person appeared and often drifted away soon afterward, is what do they really want? Yes, it may be true some people don't harbor ulterior motives but my gut was telling me that these ones do. Yes, believe it or not, I do have a gut that tells me things. The problem is that most of the time I never listened to it. That has stopped and now I listen and listen very intently. It is screaming at me that most of these people who are coming back into my life are nothing but fair weather friends and I should exercise the highest level of caution.
It turns out the gut was correct, because the first thing out of most of their mouths was, "so what is happening with you and Walter?" Me, I have been using the movie star answer, "irreconcilable differences", and the look on their faces is just so funny I have made this my standard answer. I don't need to further broadcast Walter's numerous indiscretions. I'm sure they all know about them better than me, the sad thing is it took me so long to find out. Oh well, the fact is now I know and I refuse to dwell on the past. It's done and I intend to continue to move on.
The pleasant thing is, that among the comings and goings of these people, I did meet a few I wanted to become reacquainted with. We have managed to keep in continued communication and a time or two, have gone out and had ourselves a lovely time. It was a delightful change, catching up on old times and exchanging bits and pieces of information of our present lives. Despite all of this I have kept my silence about Walter and plan to continue to do this. It's one thing for you to know how much of an idiot you are, and for others to think they know, but it's another thing for them to truly know and look at you with unhidden pity. It results in a new level of mortification.
Every inch of progress you have so viciously fought for will be reduced to nothing because that hurt will retake every aspect of your life. Just because someone is supposed to be your friend, that doesn't mean they have to know every single facet of your life because you can bet they are editing their life to you. Even your own family does the same thing, sad but true.
As the rush of acquaintances has reduced itself to a dismal trickle, I encountered a guy I remembered from school days that used to send my heart into a high-speed flutter. He had left the country when we were going into third year in secondary school and that was the last I has seen of him until I met him on my way to get a manicure at a hotel salon. Much to my shock he recognized me and told me he was back for holiday and that seeing me was a pleasure. We ended up exchanging contact information and yet again to my shock, he emailed, called and texted. Goodness me, what was a girl to do?
Well, people, a girl is to get a clue and go out for a drink with the heart-throb. Dressed to the quarter to nines, I was determined not to over do it, we ended up at the bar of one of the most exclusive hotels. Drinks led to dinner and in a lovely sundress and killer heels, it would have been rude of me not to let him take me in his arms and dance to the beautiful music of the band. To say I had a sensational time would have been the understatement of the century because I can't remember, even when Walter was courting me, ever receiving this type of treatment.
Hummmmmmm, now this was going to prove to be very interesting because as I was being escorted back to the waiting taxi, this divine man told me that he wanted to see me again. He proposed that we have lunch later in the week so we could really get to know each other without the noise of the party to snatch each other's words away. As he handed me into the taxi he kissed my palm and closed my fingers around it. Then in the distance, I saw one of Walter's long time friends walking by and he almost tripped over his feet when he saw me. Without a doubt, he would be on the phone faster than a dog on a bone. Let him do his worst. Mr. Divine, this is my special name for him, got into the taxi behind and we went our separate ways.
My phone was ringing before I got half way home and I wasn't surprised to see it was Walter. Almost at the same time, a text came through. I ignored Walter's call and read the text. It was from Mr. Divine. He told me he had a wonderful time and wanted me to know and I replied in kind. When I got home, the sitter said the phone had been ringing non-stop for the last twenty minutes but she didn't answer it due to how late it was. Before she left the phone rang again and I went and looked at the caller ID, it was Walter. I turned down the ringer and waved goodbye to her. Let Walter stew for a few days. Time will tell what he'll do but I knew what I would be doing. Having an amazing lunch date while everyone wondered what could possibly take me three hours to eat.
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a Recovering Idiot
Romanzi rosa / ChickLit"It's time to trade up to a newer model," said Walter. "I had you for twenty years too long." Those were the words that threw my life into a tailspin and placed me on a journey of chaotic rediscovery. Soon it was a matter of surviving because I had...
