the funeral is today.
i don't think i can go.
i don't think i can look at him, all pale...
all...
dead.
i can't. i just can't.
but...
i have to.
i know i do.
he'd want me to go.
i'm going for him.
i walk over to my closet. i look around for something nice, something dark, because that's what you wear to funerals, right?
i stop.
my hand shakes.
in my hands, i'm holding the tan yeezy sweater.
the one i wore to the party.
the one i wore when i met phil.
when he kissed me.
when we looked at the beautiful stars over that beautiful lake.
i break down.
i cry. i don't know what else to do.
what do i do?
i don't know what to do.
i fall- more like collapse really- onto the rough, tan carpet of my bedroom. i clutch the sweater as i close as i can, and i cry.
and cry.
and cry.
by the time i stop- maybe an hour later, my eyes are burning and dry. my throat is sore and itchy. my skin feels like its on fire, its raw and red looking.
i throw the horrible sweater across the room.
i plan on making a bag of stuff to get rid of; everything that reminds me of phil lester has to go.
i rub my eyes and push myself off the ground. i make my way to the mirror on the other side of my room.
my face is covered in dried tears,
i look like shit.
i feel like shit.
i am fucking shit.
what am i gonna do?
what am i possibly supposed to do now?
i'm a mess.
i'm a fucking mess.
a/n: CARRY ON IS SUCH A GOOD BOOK I AM C R Y I N G
YOU ARE READING
truth or dare // phan au
Fanfictionphil lester is one of the most popular kids at school. in a game of truth or dare, he is dared to kiss dan howell, the weird quiet kid that no one seems to talk to or even acknowledges. //lower case intended// also, excuse the weird writing in some...
