No Longer A Game - Sidemen FF

Chapter 28

Vikkstar123
We set up their rooms and figure out how they'll edit and upload videos.

The whole time they're cracking jokes and banter, and the whole time I'm laughing and smiling. Lachlan never leaves my side.

I find myself thinking, This is when I magically get better.

"Yo, Vikk!" Simon calls from outside the room.

"Yeah?" I shout back.

"Skype call, normal time!" Simon shouts. "Bring the Pack!"

"Okay!" I call.

"What time's normal time?" Jerome asks curiously.

"Ten," I reply. "It's when we discuss videos and video ideas. Normally it's pretty unproductive and we start recording the usual videos at eleven."

"Will you be okay with that?" I ask worriedly. "I know you're jet-lagged and all, and you shouldn't be staying up late first day in a different time zone."

"We'll be fine," Mitch assures me. "We'll go to bed after the call. We won't intrude on your recordings."

I smile.

"Okay," Rob says. "We're all settled in, now we have to move to more serious subjects."

I nod, my smile disappearing.

"When was the last time you slept?" Preston asks.

"Early this morning," I reply truthfully. Simon forced me.

"How long?" Rob presses.

I shrug. "A few hours. I had a nightmare."

"What about?" Lachlan asks gently.

I shrug again. "I dunno. I keep having them. I don't remember any specific images or anything."

But when I wake up, I feel so utterly alone. I feel terrified. I feel worthless. I feel unwanted. I feel weak. And sometimes I remember words.

Lost cause.

Weak.

Selfish.

"The last time you ate?" Rob asks.

I gesture at the half-eaten pizza on a plate and empty glass on my desk. "This morning."

"Simon?" Mitch questions.

I nod and Lachlan smiles. "I'm glad I didn't kill him that day in Minecraft."

Yeah. I suppose that could've affected their relationship a slight bit.

"The last time you cut?" Lachlan asks hesitantly.

I freeze slightly. "Last night," I say haltingly.

Lachlan sighs and looks away. I sigh too, studying him.

"I'm a lost cause," I say softly. "I don't know why you guys haven't given up yet."

"You're not a lost cause," Preston says fiercely. "Shut up."

I sigh and look away too. "I don't understand why you guys are friends with me," I admit. "You're amazing." And I am not.

Lachlan wraps an arm around me. "You are too. You just don't see it."

I let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, yeah. The fans completely agree. Vikk is such a prick sometimes. Or Vikk's shit at everything. Every fucking time, no matter what I post."

"You're amazing at Overwatch," Jerome says. "And you're the best at COD."

Vikk gets so fucking carried in Overwatch. He doesn't even deserve his rank.