Mieko's journal

Jan 2, 6, 10

Thursday Jan 2.

She's still not back.

I haven't slept since the last time I wrote. 6 days without sleep I'm probably going crazy, but I feel oddly peaceful. Like I'm floating in heaven. Maybe I am in heaven. 

If this is heaven I like it here. This is better than I expected it to be. I am a little disappointed that I don't have wings. But hey beggars can't be choosers.

~Meiko

Sunday Jan 5. 

I wasn't dead. I wasn't in heaven. 

I looked it up online. Apparently insomnia is a form of torture & people with bad anxiety often use it as punishment. 

It wasn't punishment to me though. I felt more alive then ever. It was more of a rush then cutting. 

~Meiko

Monday Jan 6. 

I should probably go to school. Break was over on the 2cd. But I can't find the will to do it. I just wanna lay here. 

~Meiko

Friday Jan 10. 

She's back but she bought some guy with her. I should be happy but I'm not. I'm still numb & out of it. She isn't making me go to school yet. But I have to go soon or she'll get fined.

It's all about her. Go figure.

I wonder if she even knows the hell I've been through since she's been gone.

~Meiko